DANIEL
My ass hitmy chair with enough force that the hydraulics lost pressure, and the seat dropped a few inches. Cursing, I gripped the lever, adjusting the chair several times until finally settling on a spot I could live with.
The report I tossed on the desk before leaving to get coffee beckoned, glowing almost as if it were some supernatural being calling to me. I needed to read it, but I didnothave my head screwed on right. Not even close. Even if I picked up the report and read it from front-to-back right now, I know without a doubt I wouldn’t be able to tell you what it said.
I grabbed my duffel bag before heading out the door again. The only thing I could do that might resemble productivity was work out. Making my way through the hallways, I heard a squad moving. Only the normally unison sound of the squads that moved around the building together sounded off. There was an echo to their feet hitting the floor. Subtle but there.
Xander couldn’t be the only new SEAL assigned to the teams in San Diego. I didn’t know how many graduated in this class. There’s no way all of them, except for one, went to Virginia. Blowing out a breath I’d been holding, I waited, hoping theywere walking away from me, but the sounds of their feet hitting the tile floor told me I had no such luck.
And I had nowhere to go.
There was no escape route. There was no secret route I could take to avoid them. So after a small pep talk where I told myself to suck it the fuck up, I lifted my chin, put one foot in front of the other, and headed to the gym.
Not more than a few steps later, they turned the corner, and I came face-to-face with a band of warriors all decked out and looking scary as fuck. Among them stood Xander. His eyes met mine.
Parker cleared his throat, drawing my attention. That fucking shit-eating grin he always wore whenever he knew something or had figured something out danced across his lips.
“We’re headed to the house for some CQB. Get your shit, come with us.”
“Yeah, no thanks. I’ll get my workout in the gym.”
“Chicken.”
A chorus of low chicken noises filled the air. “Baaawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, baaawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk.”
My head shook from side to side, and I bit my cheek to keep from laughing at them.
“I’m not chicken. I’m smart. Y’all are nuts on any given day, but when you get in warrior mode, it’s like all common sense ceases to exist. So, no thank you, I’ll stick with the gym.”
“BUH-GAHK!”
Squeezing through the crowd, I laughed, joining them in their own hilarity. They didn’t save the hazing and pranks just for the new guy. The team showed no mercy to anyone other than the brass. And those guys only got mercy to their faces. They joked about and ridiculed them daily behind their backs. Less so if they came out of the teams, but only marginally.
My shoulder brushed against Xander’s. My breath caught. Yet his body stiffened. I hated that his reaction bothered me, and it did. It broke my heart.
I wasn’t in love with him, of course. That would be ridiculous, beyond fucking ridiculous. There’s no way I could be in love with him. We met once. We fucked half a dozen times. My brain fixated on him because it felt unfinished. But it wasn’t. It was over. It had to be.
Now to convince my stupid head, and not necessarily the one on my shoulders, of that.
He and the guys moved on as if nothing had taken place. My gaze followed them, hoping Xander would turn around, but he didn’t. He kept moving with the team. I needed to do the same. Because…this was…
Finished. Never to be pursued or remembered.
Not fucking likely. Not if the last few weeks were anything to go by.
Shaking my head at the stupidity of my thoughts, I continued toward the gym, while continuing to hope that one day I could convince my fucking brain to get on board.
Eyes closed, body leaning against the wall of the elevator, I struggled to stay awake as the elevator rose to my floor. Exhaustion invaded every cell of my being. I wanted food, a stiff drink, and an early night with my pillow.
The doors opened. Pressing my palms against the wall, I pushed myself to standing and shuffled out of the car, my head down, my chin to my chest.
I slid my hand into my pocket, pulling out my keys. Something, though what I couldn’t say, caught my attention, stopped me in my tracks.
“Where’ve you been?”
“What are you doing here?”
Our words blended, as did our sighs. Shaking my head, I moved forward to unlock the door. Once inside, I turned to him.
