A small chuckle escaped from his chest. “You aren’t getting rid of me that easily, pup. Besides, I’m your guardian. Not Reiya’s. It’s been like that since your birth. We both already knew who ours were. Reiya was Brody’s, and you were mine. That doesn’t change now.”
Chasen looked out at the horizon. It was late in the day now. They hadn’t eaten anything all day, but he didn’t feel hungry. All he could feel was this dark sadness swallowing him up. How was he going to be happy? He didn’t want to feel happiness or seek comfort in his mate. A mate that his brother never got to have.
“You can head back, Hunter. I’m going to need some time to think. I’m going to stay away for a day or so. I just need time to sort out everything.” He looked at Hunter, who only smirked back at him.
“You think you can get rid of ME that easily? Let’s take a day or two together. We can stay in one of the empty upper territory cabins.”
“Freja’s waiting for you.”
“And Jin is waiting for you,” Hunter shot back.
“I just don’t want to feel better right now. I can’t go back to Jin. She makes me happy, and I need to mourn Brody longer.” Chasen’s bottom lip quivered as he looked down at his hands again.
Hunter smiled. “Just because she makes you happy doesn’t mean you aren’t feeling the loss of Brody.”
“I … I just can’t. I’m stuck right now,” Chasen admitted quietly.
“Alright. I’ll get us some things and?—”
“I appreciate it, Hunter. But I really just want to be alone.” Chasen looked up to him with watery brown eyes.
“No, Chasen. We’re both hurting. We can hurt together. Maybe I need you, too. I need you in order to deal with this shit. So don’t bail on me when I need you the most.” Hunter’s stormy eyes glared at his brother. He didn’t get to hide by himself. He wasn’t the only one hurting. Brody was his brother too, and it hurt like hell.
“Damn, you’re right.” He nodded his head looking at his hands. “The truth is … I do need you.”
“Don’t punish yourself. Otherwise, I’ll have to punish myself, too. Why didn’t I go get them? I should have brought them back here, where we could have protected each other. I’m beating myself up over it, too.” The stormy eyes finally released their tears, which trickled down his face.
“Do we really have to accept his death? Do we really have to believe that we’ll never get to see him again?” Chasen’s voice shook as his fingers trembled.
“Mom seems to be holding on to a glimmer of hope. But his connection was severed. I don’t understand what’s left to hope for. Maybe taking a couple days for meditation is just the thing we need to clear our heads.” Hunter slowly stood to his feet. “We have to at least drink something. I don’t feel like eating … but we need to at least stay hydrated.” He looked out toward the fairies that had remained to pay their respects. He nodded to them and motioned for them to leave, then reached for Chasen. “Come on. Let’s head to the cabin for now.”
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
Hunter walked back to the packhouse alone, but he wouldn’t be returning to Chasen alone. He had already mindlinked Sam to watch over the pack for a few days while he and Chasen took time to mentally adjust. They would be staying in a visitor’s cabin that was located at the far end of the pack territory. He told him to offer Ander and Tony his sincere apologies while they dealt with the loss of a family member. There were still things that needed to be cleared up with the witches, and Sam would have to handle it the best he could. But for now … they needed some time.
However, he was making some changes to what Chasen had in mind. He was bringing Jin and Freja back with him. They were their mates, and leaving them behind would cause them pain, too—knowing they were hurting and they couldn’t do anything to help. He knew that Chasen didn’t want Jin’s comfort, but dammit, it was only natural to seek comfort from your mate, and he knew that Jin could only help the situation. Plus, he had spent enough time away from Freja. He wanted her with him during this time. The girls might not have known Brody, but he was their family, too. At the very least, Jin and Freja would mourn knowing their mates were mourning.
When Hunter walked inside, he saw Jin and Freja sitting at the table. They both immediately stood up. Seeing the worn, worried looks on their faces, he knew he was making the right decision.
“Where’s Chasen?” Jin asked quietly, her green eyes flicking to the door and back to Hunter.
“Chasen is … he isn’t handling things well right now. He just wants to be alone. So … we’re going to take a couple days and stay at a secluded house within the territory.” Hunter sighed, deciding it was best to explain a bit further. “The truth is, Chasen doesn’t want anyone around. I told him I was staying with him no matter what, and that I was coming back to get a few things.”
“He doesn’t want me around?” Jin bit her bottom lip, her eyes tearing up slightly.
“Like I said, he’s having a hard time. He isn’t going to like it, but I’ve decided that all four of us will be staying at the house. It’s … this is a hard thing to deal with. And I …” He looked at Freja for a moment. He needed to have Freja around. He knew Chasen needed Jin, too. “I think Chasen is just trying to punish himself and make himself more miserable. Which is why he doesn’t want you around, Jin. But you know Chasen. You understand him. He’s your mate. Even if he isn’t talking, I think that you just sitting by his side will be a comfort to him. Whether he says it or not.”
Jin nodded her head. “He’s carrying the weight of everyone on his shoulders. It’s what he does. Don’t worry, I won’t take offense to his grumpy attitude. Can’t be worse than when I first met him. And … I’ve been through loss before, too. So I understand.” She squeezed her fingers together, then ran up the stairs to get some things.
Hunter looked back to Freja with a small smile. She walked up to him and leaned her forehead into his chest. “I’m sorry, Hunter. I didn’t really know him. But from the little time Idid spend with him, he seemed like a good guy. I understand Chasen. I know how he’s feeling. I shut out the world, too. The problem is, you only plan to do it for a day or so. Then the days turn to weeks, which turn to months, and before you know it, you’re avoiding people. You want nothing to do with them. You convince yourself you’re better off not allowing others into your heart again. Then you can avoid getting hurt.” Freja pulled back and looked up to meet with his gray eyes.
“I forgot how great it is to have someone. I remember all that now. And no matter how immense the pain would be if I lost you, I would never trade loving you.”
Hunter leaned down, kissed her forehead, and wrapped his arms around her tightly. “I love you, Freja,” he whispered. “Let’s pack up a couple of things really quick. I want to get back to Chasen.”
Hunter walked into the cabin. It was a decent size, big enough to accommodate a couple of families, which was its purpose. He walked inside first, the two girls entering behind him. His eyes immediately met with the dark ones that flashed up at him from the chair he was sitting in.
You don’t want Jin to be in pain, right? She’s hurting for you. I knew I couldn’t leave them behind when I saw their faces.Hunter watched Chasen immediately look at Jin.
