It gives you a chance to breathe & you don’t have to live with the hateful thing you said.
But for what it’s worth,Iappreciate that you don’t like being mean.
There are too many mean people in the world this week.
Don’t be too hard on yourself.
Because even if you said something you regret, You’re NOT mean.
You’re one of the nicest people I know. “Know.”
And if it makes you feel any better, I would forgive you.
I’m forgiving you right now, on their behalf.
He had been living under the delusion, those interminable weeks, that if he ever got the chance to tell Sumi exactly what he thought of her, he would instantly feel lighter. He had been positive that some of the weight he carried would magically lift, if only he was presented with the opportunity to unburden himself of the black bile in his heart, churning every time he thought of her sparkling eyes. Instead, Ranar thought miserably, it had only made him feel worse.
It didn’t help that his mother and daughter were conspiring to gaslight him.
The conversation he’d had earlier that morning with Ruma had left his prana agitated, his nerves frazzled, and a gnawing restlessness beneath his skin that he was certain could only be assuaged by either finding her and apologizing for his unnecessary nastiness, or taking Grace’s advice and fucking it out.
“Daddy, was that your girlfriend?”
He wasn’t a young naga anymore and his body reminded him of that fact frequently. Ranar whipped his head around at Ruma’s words, feeling a twinge go down his back as he did so.
“No! Baby, Grace is just a good friend. She and I have been working together since she moved here.”
Ruma wrinkled her nose, a look of disgust crossing her face. “Ugh, no! Not Grace! I knowGraceisn’t your girlfriend.”
He had never before had his feelings hurt by someone rolling their eyes, but his daughter’s dramatic sigh, dropping her head back and rolling her eyes as if he were an empty-headed potato came close. Ranar narrowed his own eyes in response, wondering why Grace was so obviously not his girlfriend.What’s wrong with Grace? She’s pretty!
“No, that other lady. The one you were arguing with.”
His whole body had stiffened.Who else were you arguing with in front of her?He racked his brain, hoping against hope that he had picked a fight in the parking lot of the grocery store while he and Ruma made a pizza topping pitstop a few nights earlier, but nothing came to mind. Nothing other than that disastrous day Sumi had come into the shop, looking like some fertility goddess there to seduce him.
“The lady who came to the shop,” Ruma had clarified, making it clear she was unimpressed with his slack-jawed response. “She was super nice, by the way. I talked to her the last time. She definitely passed the vibe check. Why are you fighting?” She glared suspiciously. “You shouldn’t fight. Paati said any nag whotries to marry me should treat me like a goddess. You should be treating your girlfriend like one too.”
Ranar felt his neck heat, twisting in the direction of the back coolers. “Your Paati shouldn’t be worried about anyone marrying you for a long, long time,” he called out, loud enough for his mother to hear.
“That–that’s not my girlfriend. I don’t have a girlfriend, Noodle. I amtoobusy with everything here—“
“Are you sure?” Ruma looked at him skeptically. “She sure seemed like your girlfriend. That’s how you talked to each other.”
“I thought you just said we were fighting?”
“Yeah, but you werefightinglike she’s your girlfriend.“ The look she gave him was almost pitying, fitting he thought. The closest he’d come to a relationship since the divorce was a stranger online. Being pitied by his fourth grader sounded about right.
“I don’t know, daddy. Your rizz ismid. And it shouldn’t be! But you should make up with her, I like her.”
“Noodle—“
“You already said that you don’t notice things,” she pointed out, giving him the same scathing look he’d received from her grandmother his entire life.
“I hope you’re telling him to make up with that pretty human.”
His mother came slithering out of the back, serpentining around the counter at just the right moment, and Ranar refused to believe it wasn’t a pre-choreographed move orchestrated by the two of them.You really are an empty-headed potato.
He’d pressed his tongue to the roof of his mouth, hands closing into fists as he swayed, forcing a smile after a moment. “She’s sylvan, actually. Still not my girlfriend. I need to go pick up the wire racks from Grace for the weekend, so if the two of you are planning on inventing some new chapter of this pretendrelationship while I’m gone, just remember that I’ve always wanted to go to the Amazon. So if the fictitious honeymoon is in the planning stages . . .”
