Because I can’t take it anymore, I release his hand and slide out of the booth, then sink to my knees on the seat beside him so I can face him. Cupping his face with both hands, I run my thumbs over the stubble coating his jaw. “Zane. You are the absolute kindest man I’ve ever known. It was you who showed me that hands were for more than violence. That they could hold someone gently.” Lifting his, I place it on my cheek. Partially because I need to feel it, and partially because I need him to remember. “From the time I was thirteen on, it was your smile that got me through each and every day. Even after I left, I’d go to sleep dreaming about you. You were the first person on my mind every morning, no matter how hard I tried to forget you.”
Tears burn in the corners of my eyes as I stare into his.
“You are not a brutal mercenary. You are a good man. You showed me that I was loved beyond measure. That I was created by a loving God and not some accident or mistake like my dad wanted me to believe. And even though I strayed from that faith over the years, I’m trying to find my way back because you inspired me to do that. Because you’ve taught me that we are not our pasts.”
Zane swallows hard and brushes his thumb over my cheek.
“Don’t let someone like Brenda convince you that you’re nothing but a killer. Don’t make the same mistake I did by letting someone else dictate who you are. Because you, Zane Knox, are the man I fell in love with all those years ago, and the only man who has ever made me feel like I could be anyone I wanted.”
Heart hammering against my ribs, I stare at him, trying to decide whether what I want to do is a terrible idea or the only thing that makes any actual sense.
“You’re driving me wild, Tessa,” Zane growls, his gaze dropping to my lips. “But I won’t take that step. It has to be you.”
I want to.
So badly.
But is it a mistake?
Will we love only to lose?
And even if that’s a risk, isn’t it one worth taking?
I lean in, my lips only a whisper from his. Zane’s hand slips around to the back of my neck, and he buries it in my hair. Desire shoots through my body, coursing through my veins like a hurricane.
And when I can’t take it anymore, I close the distance and press my lips to his. Lightning shoots through me as Zane comes to life in my hands. Before I can even fully comprehend what’s happening, we’re out of the booth and he’s setting me on the counter, stepping up between my legs and kissing me like our lives depend on it.
Who knows? Right now, maybe they do.
He’s oxygen, and I’ve been struggling to breathe since the day I left. He demolishes every wall I’d put up around my heart, devouring the distance I’d tried so hard to maintain because I was afraid of what it meant to truly let myself love Zane Knox.
I’d nearly died the last time I lost him.
This time? I know I won’t survive.
I grip his shoulders now, giving back every ounce of ferocity he pours into the kiss. The boat rocks as though the ocean itself is drawn to what’s between us.
With a growl, Zane releases me and steps back, his gaze wide and wild. “We have to stop,” he says, breathless. “We?—”
“I know.” I can’t help but smile because, man, Zane Knox can kiss. And oh, how I’ve missed it.
“I won’t—” He trails off and runs a hand over the back of his neck. “I’m not suggesting anything, but you should know that I won’t go to bed with a woman outside of marriage. I’ve done it before, but I won’t do it again.”
“I feel the same,” I tell him.
“Good.” He nods, then grins. “I’ve missed you, Tessa.”
“I’ve missed you, too, Zane.”
His smile spreads, and my stomach flips. “I do think we might need a chaperone, though. Because now that I’ve tasted what’s between us, I desperately want more.” He moves in close again, cupping my face and resting his forehead against mine.
“What do you have in mind?” I ask.
“I have a few ideas.”
Chapter 23
Zane
