“Thanks.”
She doesn’t respond, just turns toward Zane. “I’m going to put these down in your room. Come on, Tessa. I’ll show you what I brought, and you can change out of Zane’s baggy clothes.” She grabs the bags and moves past me, toward the door that will take us down into the bedroom area.
I take a step to follow, only to have pain shoot up through my thigh because—once again—I wasn’t paying attention and put too much weight on it. I fall forward, and Zane’s strong arms come around me, holding me up on my feet.
Heat explodes through me, and my heart pounds in response to the contact. As innocent as it is, I can’t help myself.
“Let me help you,” he says, voice little more than a low growl.
“I’m fine.”
“You’re not. And the last thing we need is you getting hurt worse.” He wraps one arm around my waist and takes most of my weight as I hop toward the steps.
Anastasia is already inside, and she’s set some clothes on the bed.
“I’ll help her,” she says. “Out, and I’ll call when we need your muscles again.”
Zane grins at her. No matter his mood, Anastasia was always able to bring a smile to his face. Seems like some things really don’t ever change.
Zane releases me, and I take a seat on the edge of the bed. “Thanks, Anastasia,” he says.
“You’re welcome,” she calls out as he closes the door. Then, she turns to me, though she avoids eye contact like I’m enemy number one. “Since I didn’t know your sizes, I stuck with leggings and baggy t-shirts. If you get me your actual sizes, I can get you more fitted clothes. You look like someone who sticks to jeans.”
My bottom lip quivers as emotion sears the inside of my throat. Since I can’t trust myself to speak, I nod.
“Do you need help?” It’s just like Anastasia to offer help even when she’s furious with me. It’s just who she is. It never mattered how she was feeling. If someone else needed something, she’d set aside her own issues to make sure they had what they needed.
Just like her brother.
Truthfully, I could use help. Trying to get changed is going to be a nightmare. But I don’t want to ask for her help. Not now. I’d rather deal with the pain. “No. Thanks.”
“Don’t mention it.” She starts to move past me, then pauses and turns back toward me. “It was an awful thing—what you did to him. If you truly changed your mind, you should have told him. He grieved you, Tessa. And I don’t care what your excuses are; what you did to him was not okay.”
“I know,” I whisper as tears burn in the corners of my eyes.
The truth is, I’ve fought long and hard not to think about what Zane might have felt when I didn’t show up. I’d hoped he would realize that he was better than me. Then find a woman and settle down without the weight of my baggage dragging him down.
I knew that there was no us without a fight, and he deserved so much better than to live in a war zone. Something I knew way too much about to let him shackle himself to me until death do us part. Which, if my dad had his way, would have happened even before we were married.
Anastasia turns and heads up the steps, leaving me alone in a room that smells like the only person who ever truly loved me.
I’ve been doing all I can not to look too closely at his space. Maybe it’s because I’m avoiding going upstairs or trying to postpone the pain that I’m sure to feel as soon as I try to change my clothes, but I can’t help myself now. It’s neat, just like his room always was when we were kids. There’s a framed photo of him, his sister, and both of his parents from back before his dad died.
I move forward to get a closer look at it and a smaller image pinned to the wall beside it. When I lean in enough to see the second photo up close, my heart flutters in my chest.
A young me is wrapped in his arms, staring up at him like he was my entire world. Which, he absolutely was.
Even standing here, jaded as I am, and outside of that moment, I can see the hearts in my eyes.
A tear slips down my cheek, and I reach up to run my fingertips over his smiling face. The pain in my chest isn’t new, but it constricts the very beat of my heart.
I’d loved him.
He’d loved me.
And I’d broken it because I was so afraid that the poison in my veins would taint him, too.
Didn’t I do that anyway?
