“You were the first person I wanted to call,” she whispers. “The only one. But I knew what you would do if you saw me.”
“I would have ripped him apart,” I growl. “They would have been finding pieces of him all over the county.”
“Exactly. And you would have thrown away your life for me when I’m not worth it. I never was. You should have found some perfect Christian girl and gotten married. Had perfect babies and lived your life without any of the baggage that came with me. You could have had a great life, Zane.”
Her words bring a fresh wave of anger washing over me. This time, directed at her. “That’s a pretty picture of my life you painted there, Tessa. There’s only one problem: I didn’t want anyone else. I wanted you.” I still do. That realization hits me square in the chest. Because, even after everything that’s happened, if she gave me an opening, I’d crawl over broken glass to get to her.
To get the chance to love her like she should be loved.
She closes her eyes and shakes her head. “It wasn’t meant to last, Zane. I was bad for you. I am bad for you. It took nearly dying for me to see it, but I ran as soon as I did.”
“You let him win,” I say simply.
“What?” Her tear-filled eyes open. “How can you say that?”
“You let him tear us apart. He wanted you to be miserable, and you gave him that.”
“I spared you.”
“From what? Happiness?” I snap. “A chance to be married to the woman I loved more than anything?”
“From the toxicity that runs in my veins!” she screams, tears running down her cheeks. “Everywhere I turn, trouble follows. It caught up to me in Tulsa, too. I went on two dates with him, and when I wouldn’t jump into bed with him, he attacked me. I attract darkness. Like some sort of twisted magnet.”
“It wasn’t you.” I take a step closer to where she’s sitting, not caring that she wants distance. “You were born into a terrible home, but you were climbing out of it. That’s why your dad did what he did. Because he couldn’t stand to see you happy. You weren’t the root of your problem until you made yourself one.”
“Happy.” She all but chokes on the word.
“You gave your life to Jesus and were about to be married to someone who would never lay a hand on you in that way. He hated that, Tessa. He hated me because he knew you were the only thing standing between him and the grave. And I was going to take you away from that life. Away from the life of servitude and filth he’d forced you to live in.”
“Jesus,” she scoffs. “He left me, too,” she whispers.
“No. He didn’t.” And the fact that she thinks He did only pushes my anger into overdrive.
How could she do this?
How could she throw away everything we built because a man not worthy of his biological title told her she was worthless?
She shakes her head and shuts her eyes tightly. “Look, I’m not trying to get a sermon from you, Zane. You wanted the truth, and now you have it. I ran because I wanted to spare you from a life with a criminal record that would derail everything you’d worked so hard for. I’m sorry for the hurt I caused you, but I did what I needed to do.”
My fingers flex at my sides because all I want to do is pull her into my arms and make her forget every ounce of pain she’s ever felt. I want to make her see that Jesus never left her. That God has been right beside her from the very beginning. But even though the brokenness on her face is killing me, the sting of the truth is a bite I’m not sure I can forget.
“I’m sorry,” she says softly. “I really am, Zane.”
“I would have done anything to keep you here,” I say softly. “Tessa, I would have done anything for you.”
“I know,” she replies. “And that was the problem. If you don’t want to help me anymore, I understand. I can go and?—”
“No. I’m still going to help you.”
“Why?”
Our gazes hold, and emotion snaps between us like a live wire. Because I am still in love with you. Because even though you shattered my heart, I’d still tear the world apart to protect you. “Because you meant a lot to me back then, Tessa. I only ever wanted you to be happy. And now I want you safe.” Before I can confess a whole lot more, I run a hand through my hair. “I need to get a shower,” I say. “Then I need to make some calls.”
“About what?”
“So I can start getting us some answers.”
Chapter 10
