“Yes,” I answer without hesitation. Of course I want something permanent with him. That’sallI want. To fall asleep beside him, wake in his bed, plan for a future together.
I’ve never felt this intensely about a man before. Never felt like I could be myself, could let him see every messy part of me and know he’ll still be there. Never felt like a man could somehow be both my safe space and the riskiest thing I’ve ever done. If it doesn’t work out with him, if Dad turns around and offers him a partnership… I don’t know how I’d deal with that. I don’t know how I’d go back to my life without Aidan, without his protectiveness, his tenderness, his touch that makes me come harder than I even knew was possible. I’ve overcome a lot of setbacks in my life, fumbled my way through many failures and fuck-ups, but getting over Aidan would be impossible.
And that truly scares me.
“I’m in love with him,” I murmur, the realization settling over me.That’swhat this feeling is.
And… holy shit.
“Wow,” Violet says, eyes wide. “That’s big.”
“Yeah.” I exhale a shaky laugh, wiping my palms on my dress under the table. OfcourseI’m in love with him. How could I not be? He cares about me in a way no one ever has. He encourages me, stands up for me. He’s even putting his career on the line for me.
My stomach hollows. Every time I think about it, I’m swamped with guilt. If I hadn’t made a move on him in that motel room, he wouldn’t be in this situation.
But I know that’s not true. He’d been defending me before then, and part of me knows it would have happened either way. My fingers find the cupcake sitting around my neck, touching the cool silver, reminding myself of his words from Monday:You’re what I want. The way he saidI’m so fucking surewhen I asked him if this was worth it.
I cast my mind over the last week, realizing it’s not only me he’s changed with—it’s work, too. He’s obsessing less over the prestigious projects he’s “supposed” to be doing, insteadcelebrating as the Bushwick studios near completion, enjoying puzzling out the challenges of the lighthouse with me. It’s amazing to see him grow like this, and only made me fall harder.
“It’s scary, right?” Daisy says gently. “When everything feels up in the air, and the only thing you’re certain about is how you feel?”
“Fucking terrifying,” I mutter, and that’s putting it mildly. I’m so used to scaring men off with my emotions, my intensity. Aidan’s right. I feel deeply, way too deeply. What if he doesn’t feel the same? What if I blurt it out and it’s too much?
Poppy squeezes my arm. “You’ll figure it out,” she assures me, and I try to muster a faint smile.
There’s not much I can do now. I can’t dial down my feelings, and I wouldn’t want to even if I could. It’s terrifying, but good, feeling this for someone. Now, all I can do is hold on, and hope he feels the same.
Hope we figure this out before it blows up in our faces.
30
AIDAN
“This is freaking awesome,” Tash says, elbowing Iris as we enter a large warehouse in Gowanus on Thursday after work. The wordGlowhausshines above the door in bright pink neon.
“Yeah,” Aidan Boscolo agrees. “Usually, it’s stale donuts and a guest speaker no one cares about.”
Even John looks reluctantly impressed.
But Iris still seems uncertain as she follows our coworkers into the dimly lit arcade. The walls glow with neon signs and the flicker of vintage screens, air filled with the sound of pinballs clattering and electronic chimes ringing out beneath laughter. To our right, a bar stretches the length of the room, its mirrored back wall glinting with bottles. To our left, a pizza counter buzzes under fluorescent light, the scent of dough and melted cheese drifting through the dark. But the evening’s main attraction is at the back: an indoor blacklight mini golf course, glowing invitingly.
There’s a table reserved with the wordsPrescott & Associateson a small chalkboard, and as Iris informs everyone that the first two rounds of drinks are on the firm, the team hastens to thebar. I watch them go, pride blooming in my chest. I’ve never seen everyone so eager on a team-building event before, and it’s all thanks to Iris. Only she’d be able to come up with something so unique.
I hang back to tell her so, leaning in to whisper, “This is awesome, baby.”
“Really? It’s not too much?” She glances around, brow creasing anxiously. “It looked good on the website, but I didn’t expect it to be so…dark.”
I chuckle, motioning to our coworkers already sipping drinks and laughing as they drift toward the vintage arcade games. “Everyone loves it.” I give her shoulder a subtle nudge. “Take the win.”
She follows my gaze, a grin sliding onto her lips. “Yeah. Okay.”
She’s glowing under the neon lights, blue eyes sparkling as she watches the team enjoying the outing she’s planned, and without thinking I ask, “Can I get you a drink?”
She slides me an amused look. “I don’t think you should, do you?”
I grimace. She’s right. We’re not at the office, but that changes nothing. Surrounded by our coworkers, we’re still simply boss and assistant. We still need to be professional.
A resigned sigh leaves me. “You’re right,” I mumble. “Let’s just go over together.”
