I hesitate, then nod. “She left when I was sixteen. Couldn’t handle Dad working so much.”
“Did you split your time between her and your dad?”
I shake my head, jaw tightening. This is the part I never understood. Maybe Dad was career-obsessed, but what about us? She never fought for Sophie and me. She just walked away from us all.
“No,” I say, voice hoarse. “We tried at first, but she moved out to the West Coast and got married not long after. It was easier…”
“Oh, Aidan,” Iris whispers. When I glance over, her eyes are glistening with emotion. It pierces a place deep in my chest, making my pulse stumble. I’ve never told anyone this story before, least of all a woman I’m attracted to, and I’m not prepared for Iris’s response. For the way it feels to have someone listen, maybe even see the pain that lingers underneath everything I do to keep my life in order.
And I’mespeciallyunprepared for how hard it hits me.
I force my gaze to the road.
“It taught me a valuable lesson,” I say, gripping the steering wheel as I remind myself of theonefact that seems to keep slipping my mind lately. “I knew that if I wanted success like my father’s, it required sacrifice.”
But as I say the words, I think of how I’ve felt lately, around Iris. How hard I’ve fought it, despite the ache I feel to be with her. How I’ve never let myself have anything that could distract from my work, and I’m only now realizing it might have cost me more than I ever expected.
“Is that really what you believe?” Iris asks quietly.
I should answer, should reinforce thatyes, it’s a sacrifice worth making, but I can’t bring myself to say the words. Not when I’m unsure I believe them anymore.
“It must have been hard,” she says after a while. “Your mom walking out.”
Sophie flashes into my mind. “It was hardest on my sister,” I say. It wasn’t so bad for me. I was already sixteen by the time Mom left, but Soph was only ten. Those were her formative years without her mom.
I look over to find Iris’s face alight with interest. “You have a sister? Younger or older?”
“Younger. Six years.”
A smile curls along Iris’s lips. “What’s she like?”
I huff a quiet laugh. “She’s a lot like you, actually. Messy. Easily distracted. A little chaotic.”
Iris frowns. “That’s how you see me?”
I cringe. Shit, I hadn’t meant to be quite so candid. I don’t want to lie to her, but I also don’t want her to think I view her in a negative light. Not when it’s so far from the truth.
“It was at first,” I confess. “But you’re also incredibly resourceful and creative.” I pause, wondering how much to say. “And you feel things very deeply. I noticed that the day we met.”
Iris drops her gaze, cheeks pink as she picks at a piece of lint on her jeans, not saying anything.
“Soph is exactly the same,” I add gently. “And I wouldn’t change her.”
It’s as close as I can get to telling Iris how much I like those traits in her. That even the things that used to frustrate me now make me smile. They’re who she is.
“After Mom left,” I continue, “Sophie fell apart for a while. It crushed me to see her so miserable. I promised I’d never let anything happen to her again.”
Iris watches me, saying nothing, but it’s the kind of look that suggests she hears the things I’m not saying. Things I don’t intend to say.
Clearing my throat, I attempt to steer the conversation away from myself. “Tell me about your mom,” I say, turning onto Sunrise Highway. Obviously, I know John’s married—Judy, I think his wife’s name is—but he talks very little about her, much like he did about Iris. She never comes to work events, never visits the firm.
Iris sighs. “There’s not much to tell.”
“Are you close to her?”
She snorts. “No.” When I don’t respond, Iris continues. “Mom is… I don’t know. We’ve never been close. Never did the mother-daughter stuff you’re supposed to do. She’s never beenas hard on me as Dad is, but she never stepped in when he criticized me. She’d just shrink into herself and try to keep the peace.”
This doesn’t surprise me, not with the way I’ve seen Iris do exactly that. It’s been painful to watch John slowly chip away at his daughter, but it’s probably nothing compared to all the stuff I haven’t seen. A lifetime of crushing her spirit.
