I pause, my glass of whiskey halfway to my mouth. Shit, how did I not see that?
“Come on.” She takes the glass from my hand, setting it on the table. “Tell me what’s happened.”
I rake a hand through my hair, wavering. She has enough of her own shit going on, she doesn’t need me dumping my problems on her.
But she softens. “Ever since Mom left, you’ve spent your whole life protecting me. Hell, before then.” She reaches for my hand. “You saw I needed it, saw I was different.”
My throat thickens, because I didn’t, did I? I didn’t see how much more support she needed, and I should have.
“But I’m grown now,” Soph continues gently. “I have Jada, and now I have this new diagnosis, I can get the help I need. I want to be there foryoufor once.”
Fuck.
The tightness in my throat makes it hard to swallow, and I glance down. I don’t know if it’s the alcohol or my sister’s compassion, but I croak out, “I’ve ruined everything, Soph.”
She leans forward. “Ruined what?”
“I wanted to tell her,” I say, voice strangled. “I meant to, but I couldn’t find the right time, the right way. I was so afraid…” I pause, trying to pull myself together. “I was so afraid she’d be hurt, but I fucking hurt her anyway, didn’t I?” I reach for the glass of whiskey again, needing to feel the burn.
Soph’s eyes crease with sympathy. “What happened?”
“John,” I mutter, dragging my wrist over my forehead, sloshing whiskey on myself. Soph flinches, and I set the glass down again, my hands shaking. “He was going on and on about what a disaster Iris is, and I snapped. I couldn’t take it. I told him I think she has ADHD, and Iris…” God, I can still see her face, still see the shock, the confusion, the pain. It’s like a punchto the heart. “She overheard,” I finish at last. “She overheard me, and…”
“She was upset?” Sophie asks gently. “That makes sense, finding out that way.”
“I didn’t mean to tell him,” I say urgently, needing Soph to know. “I didn’tplanto. It just came out. I was so angry—”
“You were defending her.” Sophie squeezes my hand, and I feel the faintest flicker of relief that she understands. “You were trying to protect her from him. I get it. I know you, Aid. You’re not hurtful. Not careless.”
“This was pretty fucking careless of me,” I mutter.
Sophie winces. “It wasn’t ideal, but you meant well.”
“It doesn’t matter what I meant.” I eye the whiskey on the table again. “Iris won’t talk to me.”
“Did you try to explain?”
“Of course. I apologized and said it was a mistake. I told her how much I love her, how knowing this doesn’t change how I feel about her…”
Sophie’s eyes soften. “You love her?”
I lose the battle, taking another sip of whiskey to numb the pain. “I love her so much, Soph. More than…” A ragged breath escapes me. “More than I knew was possible.”
“Oh,Aid.” She practically melts into my side, pulling me into a hug. “Iknewyou had a heart in there somewhere.”
“Ha, ha,” I deadpan. I shake my head. “It doesn’t matter though, does it? Because I’ve ruined it all.”
Soph sighs, finally picking up the tumbler of whiskey I poured her, taking a long sip. “You haven’t ruined it. She’s in shock, probably. She needs time.”
I swallow, hoping with every fucking fiber of my being that my sister is right.
“Just give her space,” Soph says. “Focus on work for a bit. You’re good at that,” she adds, bumping my shoulder with a wry smile.
But I don’t smile.
“I’m pretty sure I’ve tanked my career,” I mumble. “The way I yelled at John…” I shake my head. “And I ran after her. He’s smart enough to put the pieces together, and if he’s figured out there’s something happening between Iris and me…” I grind my molars, fury rising inside me again. Fury with myself, because now, not only does Iris have to deal with what I’ve said and how carelessly I’ve said it, she’ll no doubt have John beating down her door to accuse her of impropriety.
Soph nods, absorbing this. After a beat, she says, “I know it might be hard to see this now, but maybe it’s a good thing?”
