“I need…” My voice catches, and I try again, saying words I never imagined I’d have to say to this man. “I need space, Aidan.”
His face falls, but he nods. “Okay,” he murmurs, voice raw. He withdraws his hands, letting them hang uselessly at his side. “But… please call me if you need anything, okay? I’ll be here in a heartbeat. This doesn’t change anything for me, Iris. At all.”
I nod stiffly, fumbling with the key to unlock the door. Exhaustion sweeps over me as I finally step inside, trying to wrap my head—myheart—around what’s just happened.
Maybe it doesn’t change things for him, but it changes everything for me.
I senda quick email to Debbie in HR telling her I’m unwell and won’t be back in, then turn my phone off. Dad will be pissed I walked out again, but I can’t find it in me to care. He can’t possibly say anything worse than what Aidan said in his office.
She has ADHD. The words play on a continuous loop in my head, so much that they mean nothing.
I watch from my window as Aidan leaves, his shoulders low, head bowed. He climbs into his car and sits there for a long time. I study the blue roof of his Mercedes, feeling the numbness slowly thaw, and when he drives off at last, I crumble, crawling into bed with tears streaming, heart aching, head whirling.
It’s a relief when sleep comes.
The soundof knocking wakes me sometime in the afternoon. At first, I think it’s Aidan, and a massive wave of relief washes over me. He’s here, and everything is okay.
Then I remember this morning. What he said. How he came here, trying to talk to me. How I asked him to leave. Even though it was the right thing to do, all I feel is the muted ache of loss.
Pulling the covers over my head, I wait for whoever is at the door to get the message andgo away, but the knock comes again, more insistent. A sudden burst of rage surges through me, and I kick the covers off. Maybe it’s Dad, coming to tell me for the thousandth time what an utter disappointment I am. As I plod down the ladder from my loft, I hope it is, so I can say tohim all the things I want to. Things I should have said a long time ago.
But when I whip the door open, Eric stands there, face lined with concern.
And I completely fall to pieces.
“Oh, honey,” he says, catching me as I collapse into his arms, shaking with sobs. “Iris, honey.” His soft voice soothes me as he walks me carefully into the apartment, kicking the door closed. Then he holds me as I cry, tears soaking his cardigan, hands rubbing circles on my back. “Shh,” he murmurs. “It’s okay. It’s okay.”
When I finally run out of tears, I draw away with a grimace. “I’m sorry. I just saw you, and…”
“I know. It’s okay.” He squeezes my shoulders. “I should have brought wine, huh?”
A watery laugh slides from me. “Yes.” I wipe my face, trying to pull myself together. “What are you doing here?”
Now it’s his turn to grimace. “I overheard you in the hall this morning with Aidan. These damn thin walls.” His expression softens. “What happened?”
Oh. Shit.
I drag in an unsteady breath, reaching for the kettle. At the very least, I need tea for this. Eric steps forward, taking the kettle from me gently, and motions to the chair.
“Sit. I’ll make tea, and then we can talk.”
I slump into the blue wingback chair by the window, gazing listlessly over the street below while the kettle boils. It’s not until Eric places a mug in my hands that I realize I was looking for a blue Mercedes. Hoping it might be there.
I shove the feeling away as Eric lowers himself onto the ottoman.
“Okay,” he says, blowing on his tea. “Tell me what happened with Aidan.”
I gnaw on my lip, staring into the steaming liquid. Gratitude warms me that Eric is here, trying to help, but I hesitate. He’s the closest thing I have to a genuine friend, and I don’t know what he’ll think once he hears Aidan’s words.
But as much as I don’t want to say them aloud, they’re eating away at me.She has ADHD. I’m not even sure I know what they mean. Maybe saying them to someone will help me make sense of them.
Taking a deep breath, the words spill from me in a rush: “He thinks I have ADHD.”
Eric nods. “Right,” he says slowly. “Well… yeah.”
Wait.
“What?”
