“You don’t sound so sure.”
I set my teacup down with a sigh. “Steph, he issosexy. The chemistry and connection between us was amazing. You know me—I’mneverlike this with guys.”
“Yeah, that’s true.”
I chew my lip for a moment, wondering if I should tell Steph what, exactly, made this particular time so momentous. I kind of want to tell someone, and she’s the only one who knows the details of my lackluster sexual past. “And, um, you know that little issue I’ve always had?”
“You mean the elusive big O?”
Heat suffuses my cheeks and I glance around the coffee shop, even though no one can hear her. “Yeah.”
“Wait.” Steph’s voice is suddenly sharp and alert. “Are you saying—did he give you your first orgasm?”
“Um, yeah.”
“Oh my God! Harriet! This is huge!”
Now it’s my turn to laugh.
“Seriously! Congrats, girl!” She giggles. “Have you had one since?”
“Well I haven’t slept with him again, have I?”
“What? You know you can give yourself one, right?”
“Oh.” I hadn’t really thought of that. “Yeah, I don’t know if I can.” And I’m not sure I want to. It wasn’t the orgasm, so much. It washim. “Anyway, you can see why this is making things a lot harder. And then seeing him again tonight, I remembered just how good it was.”
“Yeah,” she murmurs. “Harri, it sounds like you want it to happen again. I know this is an awkward situation, but is there any way it could? Because this is kind of a big deal.”
I imagine Alex discovering I’ve slept with her husband’s brother and my stomach curdles. It doesn’t matter how sexy he is; no man is worth upsetting my sister or compromising her wedding. I can’t believe I was even considering it. I’ve gone years without sex and I’ve been just fine, why would now be any different? What the hell has happened to me?
“We can’t do it again,” I mutter, reaching for my cup. “I need to put Alex’s feelings first.” It doesn’t matter, anyway. Luke was uncomfortable seeing me tonight, so it’s unlikely that he would want anything to happen. And what did he say in his note, that things were complicated? What does that even mean?
“I’m sure everything will be fine,” Steph says. “But don’t blame Harriet 2.0. If it weren’t for her, you wouldn’t have had hot sex. If anything, I’d thank her.”
We end the call and I mull over Steph’s words as I finish my tea and climb the stairs to the apartment. I don’t know if I agree; without Harriet 2.0’s antics, things would be a whole lot easier right now.
But if I’m being honest with myself, I don’t want to take back what I did on the plane. It wasn’t just the sex, or the chemistry, or the life-altering orgasm. It was who I was when I was with him—a glimpse of who I could be.
It was the feeling of coming alive.
9
The dressing room curtain opens and Alex glides out, her cheeks pink with happiness. I know it’s a cliche, but there’s no other way to describe her: she is radiant.
Her gown has a fitted bodice that shows off her waist, then flares out into a full skirt, layers of silk and lace and tulle tumbling to the floor. It’s an off-white, champagne color, and it’s breath-taking. It will go perfectly with the indigo-blue maid of honor dress I just had fitted.
“What do you think?” She steps up onto the pedestal and turns to look at her reflection. “Will Michael like it?”
“Uh, yeah.” I chuckle. She could turn up dressed in a garbage bag and he’d still adore her, he’s that smitten.
“I hope so.” She smooths her hands over the bodice of her dress, studying her reflection, and her expression clouds. When she catches my eye in the mirror, I tilt my head to one side in concern.
“You okay?”
She turns back around and heaves out a sigh. “I’m worried about Henry.”
“Henry? What about him?”
