Actually, whatdoesthat mean? I frown, mulling this over—but I catch myself. I won’t over-think this. I won’t ruin this for myself like I always do.
I settle into bed, making a decision. I’m going to appreciate what I had with Luke for what it was: fun, sexy, and impulsive. He was gorgeous, and I’m still in awe that he managed to do what no other man—or myself—has done before, but I’ll never see him again and that’s that.
It’s for the best. The last thing I need is to get hung up on a guy. I’ve managed just fine without them.
But as I drift off to sleep, I can’t deny the unfamiliar ache that’s tugging at me. I’ve had a taste of something I didn’t even know existed, and I’m not sure I can forget that now.
6
Iglance at the shopping bags splayed out at our feet as we jostle along. I didn’t want to take the subway (I thought New Yorkers were all about cabs?) but Alex insisted it was easy and much cheaper than a taxi.
I, on the other hand, feel like we’re about to be mugged at any second.
My eyes dart around the train carriage, making sure no one is approaching us while we’re unawares, but everyone seems to either have their headphones in or their eyes on their phones. Still, I’m rigid with nerves. My hands are so sweaty I can hardly grasp the rail to steady myself. I don’t know how Alex does this alone. She’s so much braver than me.
“It was fun shopping with you today,” she says, gesturing to my bags.
After going through Alex’s wardrobe this morning, it became clear that most of her clothes wouldn’t work for me. She’s taller and curvier than me, and while I managed to find a dress of hers I could wear for the day, I knew we’d have to go shopping. Alex talked me into trying on some pretty dresses, and when I saw my reflection in the fitting room mirror, all I could hear were Luke’s words:You’re beautiful. I remembered the way he looked at me, the way he sent heat searing through my whole body, and in that moment I decided I’d like to put a little more thought into my appearance. So, as well as buying my usual jeans and sweaters to replace the ones currently missing in my luggage, I also got a handful of dresses, following Alex’s advice.
And—I can’t really believe this—I got some sexy underwear. It’s not something I’ve ever owned in the past, but today I felt inspired. The whole time I looked at lingerie—God, I know it’s stupid, but I couldn’t help myself—I kept thinking,would Luke like these?And when I tried on a red lacy bra with matching panties and felt pleasantly surprised at my reflection, I heard his voice in my ear again, murmuring,God, you’re hot.I got so flustered I had to quickly dress and get out of there—after buying the set in several colors, of course. I might not be seeing Luke again, but it won’t hurt to have some sexier bits and pieces, just in case, well… I don’t know. But I’m quite certain Harriet 2.0 would wear sexy underwear.
I smile at Alex. “It was fun. Thanks for your advice. I would never have tried on half of that stuff otherwise.”
“Happy to help. I can’t believe you listened to me! I don’t think I’ve seen you in something so girly before.”
“I know,” I say, chuckling. “But I’m trying to get out of my comfort zone and try new things.”
The train pulls into the next stop and Alex helps me gather my bags. I follow her onto the platform and up the steps until we reach the street, the tight coil of anxiety inside me slowly unwinding as we leave the subway. We walk for a few blocks until we come to a bar called Bounce where we’re meeting her friends, Cat and Geoff, for a drink.
It’s been a day of sensory overload out in the city, with the sounds and the sights and the smells (oh, the smells—everything from the pungent odor of garbage and car fumes to the sweet scent of bakeries and coffee. It was… a lot). I was looking forward to getting home and recharging my introvert batteries, but Alex has been so excited for me to meet her friends, I could hardly say no.
She smiles at a blond guy behind the bar as we enter, then points us towards a booth at the back.
“Who’s that?” I ask, following her.
“Cat’s brother, Cory. He owns the place, so we get cheap drinks.” She flashes me a grin as we slide into a booth.
I shove my shopping bags under the table, leaning forward to look at Cory. He’s got a short beard, dirty-blond hair cut longish on top and shaved close on the sides, and he’s well over six feet tall. He’s chatting with a petite, dark-haired woman behind the bar as she pours drinks. Then his brown eyes return our way and he waves.
“He’s cute,” I murmur.
“Oh, yeah. He’s hot. But he’s kind of a player. He hit on me my first night in town and Cat says he’s always taking girls home from here.” She tilts her head, regarding me curiously. “Since when are you checking out guys?”
“What?” I blush, shifting my weight. She’s right, I wouldn’t normally notice a hot guy. I think Luke flipped some kind of internal switch in me or something, because I noticed a few while we were out shopping today. Or maybe it’s just American men. “I’m thirsty,” I say, in a feeble attempt to distract Alex.
“Isn’t that the truth,” she mutters, laughing. “Okay, I’ll get us drinks while we wait for the others. What do you want?”
“Um, I’ll have a whiskey.”
Her eyebrows rise. “You drink whiskey?”
“I’ve just started. I’m trying new things, remember?”
“I guess,” she says, shaking her head as she wanders over to the bar. I watch her chat and laugh with the dark-haired woman as she pours our drinks. When Alex returns to the table, I take my whiskey with a smile.
“Thanks.”
“Guys! Over here!” She waves an arm and I follow her gaze to see a guy and a girl enter the bar. The girl is short, with cotton-candy pink hair and a cute floral dress, and she waves to Cory as she makes her way to us. I’m guessing that’s Cat.
