She gazes at me for a second over her tea, then rolls her eyes. “He’s in love with you, Harri.”
My pulse leaps. “What?”
She laughs, and when I look at Michael, he just shrugs and smiles.
“But… he hasn’t tried to get in touch with me.”
“He knows he made a mess of everything.” Michael sets his cup down with a sigh. “He shouldn’t have brought Dena to the wedding in the first place, and he shouldn’t have walked away from you. But… I can also understand why he felt like he had no choice. I mean, I did exactly what he thought I would do—I got mad at him. And it might sound like an excuse, but our father—” Michael’s brow dips and he shakes his head. “Luke’s spent his whole life trying to win Dad’s approval.”
“I know,” I whisper.
Alex squeezes me again. “I think he was just really scared.”
I suck in a shuddering breath as a tear slides down my cheek. Of course he was scared. How could I have let myself forget that? In the moment I’d been so focused on the idea that he didn’t care enough, but what if it hadn’t been about me at all? What if I’d underestimated just how terrified he was of confronting his dad and telling Michael the truth about us? I recall Luke’s words in that corridor—I can’t, Harriet. I’m sorry—and realization flashes through me. It wasn’t that he was refusing to tell them, it was that he felt as though hecouldn’t.
More tears wash down my face as I think of him dealing with his brother’s anger and facing his father alone. What if I hadn’t run away, but had stuck by him? What if it hadn’t been about me needinghimin that moment, but about him needingme? At the cabin he confessed that he didn’t feel brave—that he’d been living a lie.When I think about this now, a crack forms in my heart. He was there every step of the way for me when I needed help to be brave, but when it came time for me to helphim, I didn’t. I made it about me, and I ran.
Michael glances from me to Alex. “Maybe we should go settle in at your folks’ place. Give Harriet some space.”
Her gaze lingers on me for another moment, then she sighs, setting her empty cup down. “Alright. But I’m going to check in on you soon, okay?”
I nod numbly, then send them on their way. When I collapse back onto the sofa, I sit there in a daze for some time, playing Alex’s words on repeat in my head:He’s in love with you. He didn’t turn his back on me at the wedding because he didn’t care enough. It wasn’t about me at all. Of course it wasn’t, how could I have let myself believe that?
I’m so crazy about you, Harriet.Luke’s words on the doorstep of the cabin echo through my head. My heart is sore as I think about what he was trying to say. Then the other words come back to me—you make me feel alive, like no one ever has—and despair rolls through me, breaking like a wave across my chest. Because if heisin love, it’s not really with me, it’s with a fantasy self I created, a “wild girl” who doesn’t exist. I’d somehow convinced myself that it was just a tiny white lie—that it didn’t matter because I was becoming that new, fearless version of myself—but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Because I ran away when Luke needed me the most.
A sob escapes me and I curl into a ball on the sofa, hugging my knees, letting the tears stream down my face. I’ve fallen in love with a guy who can’t really love me back, because I lied about who I am.
What a mess.
“Oh my God, hon!” I glance up and, through my tears, see Steph hurrying across the living room. She dumps a suitcase beside the sofa and crouches in front of me. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”
“No,” I manage through a fresh surge of tears.
She sits beside me, pulling me into a hug. She doesn’t say any more; just holds me while I sob like a baby. It takes me some time, but gradually I feel the hysteria subside, and I straighten up, sniffling.
“Is this about the best man?”
I nod, reaching for a tissue to dry my eyes.
“You want to talk about it?”
I look at Steph, knowing I need to tell her the full story. Because while she knew I was sleeping with Luke—and that he was also Michael’s brother—what I never told her about was Dena, and his divorce, and his dad. I take a deep breath, and with a heavy heart, I finally tell her everything.
“Wow,” Steph says when I finish. “That’s… a lot.”
“Yeah.”
Her eyebrows tug into a frown. “Are you angry with him for not sticking up for you at the wedding?”
I look down at my hands, thinking about this. It was humiliating and I was hurt. I should be mad as hell—I should want him to suffer, like I did. But I don’t feel that way. I know he’s a good guy—I know hehassuffered. He acted from a place of pain and fear, and that’s a place I know all too well.
“No,” I whisper. “I understand why he didn’t. And… he did, in the end. I just ran away before he could.”
Steph reads something on my face I didn’t know was there. “You’re in love with him.”
I nod.
“Oh, Harri,” she says, hugging me again. “You need to go and fight for him. Harriet 2.0 would.”
