“I don’t know,” I say again. I pick at some lint on the comforter. “I can’t explain it.”
“Try. We should talk about this.”
An exasperated groan rushes from me as I push to my feet. “You andtalking.” I pick up his jeans and toss them at him.
“Comeon, Cat. You know last night things were different. The kiss—”
“See! This is why I didn’t want to kiss you!”
His eyebrows go up. “So you admit things were different. It was more than just sex.”
“Okay, fine, it was more than just sex. But that doesn’t mean—”
“Do you remember what you said? You said I’m not who you thought I was.”
“I know, and I meant that. I just…” I hesitate, unable to even put my finger on it—this vague sense that I shouldn’t jump into this. I want to shake it off; to leap back into bed and spend all day curled up there with him, but… “I don’t know,” I say helplessly.
He stares at me hard, his jaw tightening. “Fine,” he mutters, swinging his legs out of bed and pulling his underwear on. “Then I’ll go.” He reaches for his jeans, avoiding my gaze as he steps into them. I watch him yank his shirt on and button it with fumbling, agitated fingers. My mind skips back to the last time we had sex and I pushed him away, and—as unreasonable as it is—a faint sense of panic weaves through me.
“So I guess you’re really done with me this time, huh?”
His flinty eyes meet mine. “You honestly think I’d ditch the website over this?”
“No! I meant…” I look down at my hands. “Me.”
He forces the air from his lungs, softening. “No. I’m not done with you, Cat. I’m just…” He drags the heel of his hand across his forehead. “Frustrated.”
I nod. I’m fucking frustrated with myself.
My phone buzzes in my hand and I glance down.
Geoff: Can we meet for a coffee at Beanie in twenty?
“I have to meet Geoff,” I mumble. “He’s going through something and he needs me. But… why don’t you come by the store later, if you’re free?”
Myles rubs his chin, considering this.
“I’d like you to,” I add.
“Okay. I need to photograph you in some dresses for the site anyway, so… yeah, okay.”
I breathe out in relief and follow him out to the front door. “Cool. Then I’ll see you later.”
He hesitates, then pushes his mouth into a grin. It’s one of his self-assured ones—one I haven’t seen that much lately—and I notice that these smiles never reach his eyes like the other ones.
“Yep, see you,” he says, and he saunters out the door in his usual way, leaving me to my jumbled thoughts.
* * *
Geoff is already sittingat a table, chewing his nails down to stumps, when I arrive late at Beanie—a tiny coffee shop just down the street from my apartment.
“Hi,” I say breathlessly, flopping down into a chair. “I’m so sorry, I was… caught up.”
“Thanks for coming.” He wrings his hands. “I just didn’t know what else to do.”
“Of course. You know I’m always here.” I gesture to the guy behind the counter for a coffee and he nods, then I turn back to Geoff. “What happened?”
“I saw Daniel with someone else last night.”
