“Fine,” I mutter wryly. “Right. I’m going to go home and try not to freak out while I get ready for tonight.”
Alex steps out from the counter to hug me again. “You’ve got this. Now go and win back the love of your life.”
* * *
By the timeI get back to the apartment, I’m fidgety with anticipation. I listen out for the door all afternoon, obsessively checking my phone. After an eternity, a text comes through from Claudia telling me a messenger is on the way with the keys. Then I pace back and forth through the lobby, only exhaling when I’m clutching the keys in my hand.
I shower and get ready for the evening, dressing in the navy dress I wore to Claudia’s dinner party. Tonight, I’m going to wear the dress that I love—and from now on, I’m always going to wear my designs. Geoff was right—I miss the old me, too. I’m done with wearing black, with hiding. Myles has shown me what he’s seen in me, who he’s seen buried under all those black clothes, under all my fear. He’s shown meme.
When I finally step out the front door, I feel more determined than ever to tell Myles I love him, to thank him—not just for the site, but for everything. He helped me with my business, yes, but more than that, he led me back to myself. And that is worth more than anything.
38
I’m glad to see the bar isn’t too busy when I arrive. Cory spots me hovering by the door, trying to be normal but jittery with nerves.
He lopes over and pulls me into a hug, then stands back to admire my dress. “You look so pretty, Cat. I almost didn’t recognize you.”
I poke him in the ribs. “Ha ha,” I say, glancing past him. “Is Myles working tonight?”
“He’s out back. You want me to grab him?”
“No. I’ll wait.”
Cory nudges me toward the bar. “Come on, have a drink. You look like you need it.”
I slide onto a barstool, eyes darting around the place. There’s a flash of something familiar—blond hair, suit—in one of the booths down the back, but I’m too skittish to make sense of it. I turn back to the bar to see Josie grinning at me.
“Iloveyour dress.”
I manage a smile. “Thanks.”
“Hot date?”
There’s a pinch in my belly as I glance toward the back, checking for Myles. “Maybe… If I’m lucky.”
She follows my gaze and her expression turns compassionate. “I think you will be. He’s a mess.” She gives me a reassuring smile as she slides a vodka soda across the bar, then slinks away.
I guzzle half of it, letting the alcohol take the edge off. I’m almost feeling better, but when Myles comes out with a dishcloth over one shoulder, stacking some glasses absently, my pulse skyrockets again.
He wipes at the bar, lost in thought. He’s so gone, it takes him a good few minutes to realize I’m sitting right there. When his gaze finally meets mine, he blinks, swallows, and attempts a smile. “Oh… hey.”
“Hi.” I chew my straw anxiously. “I, um, looked at the website.”
He nods. His eyes stray to my dress, and I watch him physically struggle to get them back to my face. “Is it… okay?”
“No.” I try for a playful smile, but my mouth is too twitchy to cooperate. “It’s fucking awesome. It’s—” Damn, this is harder than I thought. Words aren’t enough. “I love it. Thank you.”
His shoulders relax and a smile ghosts across his lips. God how I miss his cocky, self-assured grins.
“Myles… the name. Of the site, I mean. Is it—”
“Oh, yeah.” He cringes. “Sorry, that was just a placeholder. We can call it whatever you want.”
A placeholder.
The word rings in my ears and I look down at my lap, trying to make sense of this. When I glance back up, Myles is serving a couple of guys beside me, laughing with them like I’m not here trying to pour my heart out, and my chest constricts with despair. What am I doing here?
I push away from the bar and stumble to the bathroom. I just need a few minutes alone to collect myself, to figure out exactly what my next move is, to decide if this whole thing has been a mistake.
