I take it, bemused, and throw it back. It burns all the way down into my empty stomach, then I feel it spread out through my veins, loosening me up. I exhale wearily, watching as they each have a shot. If we need to prep with tequila shots, this can’t be good.
Geoff sets his empty glass down and fixes his attention on me. “Whatever Myles said, he’s probably right.”
I stiffen. “Are you kidding me? He—”
Geoff holds up his hands. “I’m just the messenger, okay?”
“Please hear us out,” Alex says.
I survey their faces, so full of apprehension, and feel myself relent. “Fine.” I slump back against my seat, folding my arms. This ought to be good.
“We weren’t there, so we can’t comment on what was said,” Geoff begins, choosing his words carefully. “But I’m inclined to think that Myles was right.”
I huff. “But you hardly know him—”
“No, I don’t,” Geoff agrees. “But I knowyou.”
I raise my eyes to the ceiling. Here we go. It was bad enough with Myles playing Freud—now I’m going to get psychoanalyzed by these two as well?
“Honey, I love you to bits, you know that.” Geoff reaches across the table to take my hand, squeezing it tight. His green eyes gleam with worry behind his glasses, and I feel myself begin to unfurl. “But you’re a mess. Well, you’re a mess with men.”
I glance at Alex and she grimaces, then nods.
“You say you want a real relationship, but you have all these rules. When you go on dates, you behave like some idealized version of yourself—then you wonder why they don’t go anywhere.”
“They don’t go anywhere because the guys in this city suck.”
“Sure,” Geoff says. “A lot of them do. But I also have to believe you don’t let them in, you don’t give them a chance. It’s easier to find flaws in them to explain why nothing works out, rather than look at yourself.”
I glare at Geoff, clenching my jaw. If it were anyone else saying this to me, I’d deck them. But Geoff… I know Geoff, and he knows me. He’s clearly uncomfortable having this conversation with me, but the fact that he’s here saying this, must mean he really believes it.
“Fine, whatever, I’m a mess. What does this have to do with Myles?”
“I’m not trying to justify what Myles did. But you said he told you everything as soon as you confronted him, right?”
I give a reluctant nod.
“Well, if he did tell you everything right away, then was he really trying to hide it? It seems more that he didn’t knowhowto tell you—not that he didn’t want you to know.”
I look down, stirring my vodka. I’d never thought of it like that.
“And if that’s the case,” Geoff says, squeezing my hand again, “then that’s not really the reason you’re walking away from him.”
I drag my gaze to Geoff’s, swallowing against the thickness in my throat.
“Is it possible that youarescared? I know how it feels. When I thought Daniel was with someone else, I panicked. I thought I’d done this stupid thing by letting him get close, and that he was only going to hurt me. I wonder if that’s what’s happening here with Myles. You’ve never considered him a real contender, so you’ve just been yourself around him. He’s seen the real you, and there’s nowhere for you to hide.”
“I don’t want to hide,” I mumble, but when I think about how I felt at the engagement party—so exposed, so vulnerable—I realize that Geoff is right. Shit.
Geoff sees the realization dawn on my face. “I think maybe you’re using this thing about his past as an excuse, because you’re scared. No one can blame you, Cat. You’ve been through so much. But… now you’re letting your fear get in the way of something you really want.”
I suck in a shaky breath, feeling my heart thud harder against my breastbone. It’s uncanny, but Myles said the same thing. Is it possible that they’re all right?
But… I stab at an ice cube with my straw. Even if they are, what difference does that make now?
“Either way,” I mutter, “that doesn’t matter. You know he never delivered on the website? He promised me, no matter what happened between us, he would complete the site. But I haven’t seen anything.” I utter an ashamed laugh, looking down at the table. “It’s my own fault for believing him. Every time I trust someone, they let me down.”
Geoff cocks his head. “Every time?”
