“What’s going on?”
“I got passed over for a promotion that I was pretty sure I was going to get.”
Emily has been working in marketing for years. I’m not entirely sure what she does, but it’s something to do with sports or athletic gear… I think.
“Oh that sucks, I’m so sorry.” I make a face. “Did they say why?”
“Nah. But it might be time for me to move on from this company soon anyway. I’m over all the politics.” She’s quiet for a moment. “So… did you, um, hear about Travis?”
“No. What happened?”
“Oh, it’s nothing,” she says, glancing away from the screen.
I roll my eyes as I take a sip of tea. She’s hopeless. “Come on, Em. What is it?”
“Okay. He has a new girlfriend.”
I lower my tea, feeling a strange sting. I haven’t been thinking about him much since I’ve arrived in the city but this is kind of a surprise. A new girlfriend, already? It’s only been a month! Must be some exotic woman he’s met while on his travels.
“Oh,” I say eventually. “Well… good for him.” I take another sip of my tea, ignoring the tightness in my chest. Here I was thinking I’d mostly moved on from Travis, but the mention of him with someone else has me feeling a bit ruffled.
“Yeah,” Emily says. “She lives here, though.”
“How’s that going to work?”
Emily clears her throat, chewing her nail. “Well, he’s not going overseas anymore.”
“Wait. I thought he’d already gone?”
“Er, no. And now he’s not going at all.”
“What?” I rub my forehead. “How do you know all this?”
“Your mum told me. Apparently she was talking to his mum, and he said he fell in love with this chick really quickly and can’t leave her now, or some bullshit.”
“You’re kidding.”
“No.” She cringes. “Sorry, hon.”
“I can’t fucking believe this,” I say through gritted teeth. “He dumped me because he wanted to travel and live this amazing life, then a month later he falls in love with someone else andisn’t going?”
“I know,” Emily says, nodding vigorously. “What a dick.”
I nod too. And then, to my surprise, I hear myself laughing. This is kind of funny. Maybe not in an obvious way, but it is. I moved all the way over here because he told me I was living a small life. Well, I’ve certainly proved him wrong, haven’t I? And the irony of this whole thing is that he’s still there, living a small life. Just with someone else now.
The laughter dies in my throat as hurt settles over me. He said he was leaving me because he wanted a bigger life, but now he’s staying there. And that means it wasn’t our life that wasn’t enough for him—it wasme.
I look down at my tea, feeling stupid. If I wasn’t enough for Travis, then there’s no way I could ever be like the chic women of New York. I come from a tiny town that no one has ever heard of, in a country that most people assume is part of Australia. I wear clothes from discount chain stores, or thrift stores when I find them in my size. I only own one pair of heels. I don’t get Brazilian waxes or manicures. I don’t go to spin classes or Bikram yoga or pilates. I only, just the other day, learned that Fendi is a designer and not a car manufacturer. I’d never thought much about these things before, but after being dumped and then thrust into the glamor of New York, I just feel like a dork with my funny accent and lack of sophistication.
And that just makes everything crystal clear. Because I don’t think I could find romance over here even if Iwantedto.
Still, that’s not why I’m here, I remind myself. I’m here to write. Except that’s not really happening either, is it?
I sag against my pillow with a weighted sigh.
“You okay?” Emily asks, leaning closer to the screen.
“I don’t know. I’m so grateful for Cat and Geoff. But… I’ve hardly written anything. What if moving here was a mistake?”
