“TELL ME HOWhe forced you.”
Those were Ragnar’s first words to Erika after he had squeezed the breath from her in their mutual hugging. Hers had been, “I think you should not have left me home alone this time.” But then, she was so close to tears, she had to say something that might make him laugh. It didn’t work.
They had been given the privacy of the small chapel. She had joined him there immediately she was told of his presence. But she had never gotten around to giving any thought to what she would tell him. She had instead been so immersed in thoughts of her husband that she had even forgotten there was a possibility she might speak with Ragnar today.
The tears remained near the surface and likely would, because she was so happy to see Ragnar. She had begun to think she never would again. But there was her confusion, too, and she couldn’t even speak of it to him. And there was his concern, so evident, and knowing she must lie to him. She had never had to lie to him before.
She led him to one of the pews to sit with her, and took his hands in hers before she said, with as much conviction as she could manage, “I was not forced.”
“Erika—”
“Nay, hear me out. I considered many things, even that you wanted a strong alliance for me, and this one is indeed that. His brother-in-law is a warrior lord here, and a friend of the Saxon king. His father is a rich merchant prince. His uncle is a powerfuljarlin Norway, and he himself commands many men, every one a Viking warrior. For an alliance, brother, you could not have hoped for better.”
“I would not have sacrificed you for it!”
“I know, and I do not feel I have sacrificed myself. Ragnar, if I did not want to marry the man, I would have refused.”
Sweet Freya, why did that sound so true? And why didn’t he simply believe her, instead of still looking so doubtful? She found out why.
“Turgeis told me all that happened. This man took you to harm you.”
“But he never did, and I—” She lowered her head, hoping he would just think her embarrassed to admit, “I have come to care for him.”
“Why?”
The directness of that question caught her off guard. She almost laughed. She did grin. A woman would never have asked that.
She answered by asking, “Have you not met him?”
“Met him?” Ragnar growled. “I saved his miserable life in the last war.”
Her expression turned incredulous, and rightly so. “How is that possible? He fought with the Danes?”
“He was with the Saxons,” Ragnar said in disgust. “Helmeted, with Danish coming from his lips. I assumed—wrongly. Even when I saw that black hair of his after I had dragged him from the field and bandaged his wounds, I still thought him a Dane. And he let me think it. I knew no differently until I saw him again yesterday.”
Yesterday. Selig knew yesterday it was her brother he owed his life to, and still he threatened him? Had that been a bluff, too?
It was on the tip of her tongue to tell all when it occurred to her that what could have been a bluff yesterday might not be one now. There was a very great difference, after all, between letting go a prisoner and letting go a wife. If her brother insisted on a fight, and he would if he knew the truth, Selig would meet him. And she hated to admit it, but Ragnar, even at six feet, was a much smaller man. Ragnar facing Selig would be like Selig facing Turgeis. The outcomes were almost guaranteed. She still had to lie.
He lifted her chin in his palm to draw her attention back to him. “What has my meeting him to do with your caring for him, Erika?”
“You must admit he is a fine-looking man. I find it difficult to take my eyes off him when he is near me.” That much was perfectly true,which was probably why her cheeks started glowing when she added, “His attraction is quite powerful.” That, unfortunately, was also true.
“You are saying you married the man because of his handsomeness?”
She hated putting herself in with that shallow group who cared only for looks, but Ragnar might better accept that as a reason for such sudden “caring.” So she settled for merely elaborating on that point, and it helped that she could be truthful about it.
“His handsomeness began the attraction, which I felt when I first saw him at Gronwood. It was because of it that I was so rattled I lost my temper and ordered him lashed. You cannot begin to know how much I regret that.” Andthatwas especially true. “Now, did you find a wife?”
He frowned at her change of topic and waved it aside. “I cannot think of that now.”
“But I need to think of something other than this. Did you?”
He pounced. “So youareupset?”
“I am upset byyourupset,” she insisted, and suddenly the words flowed from her without any difficulty. “I know you did not come here and expect to find me wed and willingly so, but, Ragnar, I simply could not help falling in love with this man. I tried to resist it. Selig tried, too. He wanted so much to hate me. And it endeared him to me, that he tried so hard, but could not. He wanted revenge, aye. That is the reason I was taken. But he found he isincapable of exacting revenge from a woman. Can you imagine his frustration, to end up in love with me instead?”
For a moment Ragnar did, and had the urge to laugh. With it came his relief, now that she had said something that sounded reasonable—and more like her.
