“Do you even know what you’re bargaining to get yourself involved in?”
“It matters not. Doyouunderstand that I will never let you go? You gave me your love—”
“I took it back—” she tried inserting, but uselessly.
“You gave it; thus is it mine to keep, not yours to take back. In return, I give to you my life, yours to keep until the day I die.”
She had a feeling those were formal words that somehow were committing. She also had a feeling, which thrilled her to her toes, that the big jerk loved her and didn’t even know it. If these barbarians needed anything, it was reeducation in their beliefs, especially the belief that warriors didn’t have feelings. Her warrior had put enough feeling into what he was saying to melt her bones. And why had she given up, anyway, she who never gave up? If hedidn’tlove her now, she’d just have to work on it until he did.
Chapter Thirty-seven
Acraving for something tart drove Tedra to the kitchens late one afternoon several days later. Since she had apprised Challen of the situation on her world and what was needful, she hadn’t seen much of him. His days were filled with clearing away all business that couldn’t await his return, for his planned trip to meet with the othershodaniwas scheduled for tomorrow. Messengers had been sent out to gather them all together, but it would still take days to reach the meeting place, and days longer until all theshodanishowed up, if they did. Transferring could have cut that time in half, but Challen had refused to consider it.
Tedra hadn’t pressed the matter because she assumed she would be going along, and was frankly looking forward to seeing some more of the planet. But she had been disabused of that notion this morning. She wasn’t needed on the trip, not as long as the warrior had Martha to do any convincing and demonstrating, and Martha was apparently willing to cooperate fully.
To say Tedra wasn’t pleased with Challen’s decision was putting it mildly. She was, in fact, furious with him. The meeting would determine whether or not she would be getting the mercenaries she needed, whether or not theshodaniwould even agree to trade with sky-flyers. She had every right to be there. But not as far as her barbarian was concerned. No, he didn’t want her coming under such close scrutiny of other warriors as powerful as he. His possessiveness was acting up and he didn’t even know it, but this was no time for it when the matter was so important to her.
She still meant to have another go at changing his mind tonight, if he managed to return to his chambers before the late hour guaranteed she’d be sleeping. Right now she tried putting the matter from her mind. The strange craving she was having helped to do that.
The kitchen was busy at this time of day in preparation for the evening meal. Tedra wouldn’t have admitted it, but she found the place fascinating, all the human labor involved, the Darasha camaraderie, women enjoying what they were doing, though what they were doing were jobs considered obsolete on Kystran. But she wouldn’t spoil their fun or feelings of usefulness by telling them that. Besides, it hadn’t become common knowledge yet who she really was; only Challen’s warriors were privy to that information. The women still thought her to be a captive, the story of her being a challenge loser unanimously doubted by them all.
Tedra had made one sort-of friend besides Jalla, that day Challen had insisted they eat with the household in the gathering rooms at the front of the castle. Those rooms weren’t exactly segregated, as she had first supposed, but they could be if a meal was to turn into a warriors-only discussion, as sometimes was the case. That day, the lady sitting to Tedra’s right had struck up a conversation with her about, of all things, gardening. Nothing could have endeared the woman to Tedra more, the subject being of keen interest to someone starved for all things of a horticultural nature.
Her name was Danni Hal-Dar, a widow of nearly two years, and from her Tedra had learned things that Jalla wouldn’t have thought to mention, such as there being not a single job in all of Kan-is-Tra that would pay a woman a wage so that she could support herself.Thiswas the reason all orphans and widows had to seek protection of a warrior, but then this was also the reason a warrior could not refuse a woman his protection, and the household of theshodanwas, of course, the most prestigious household to be protected in.
Tedra could have laughed at the idiocy behind that ancient law, for theshodanwas the one with the headaches of having so many idle women under his roof. And to think of the newly colonized worlds out there starving for women, and how most of these women might delight in an opportunity to go where they might be useful again, or be trained for jobs that were scarce and paid high wages. Of course, as she had already determined, something like that would take some heavy reeducation in the way these people looked at things, but it wouldn’t hurt to mention such an option to Challen—when she was no longer annoyed with him.
Danni wasn’t in the kitchen, but then this was the domain of servants, not of ladies of the household. Yet Marel, one of the younger ladies, was there, and it didn’t take much to realize she was being punished, her task that of peeling a vegetable calledfalaa,a strange one that was horribly odorous when raw, but cooked up into a sweet-smelling, delicious side dish.
If Marel’s expression was any indication, she was hating the punishment, as Master Lowden no doubt expected her to. Tedra didn’t bother to ask what she had done to get punished. Marel was of that large group of ladies who looked on Tedra as beneath their contempt, if not with outright hostility. This had never bothered Tedra one way or another, but Danni had thought to explain, confiding that many of them had hoped to win theshodanfor themselves, that some of them had in fact shared his bed in that effort.
Nowthatbothered Tedra, though she hadn’t let on. Just let any of them try catching his notice now and they’d get a swift trouncing by a Sec in full fury. Finding the prettier ones mates was going to be Challen’s first order of business when they returned from Kystran—Stars, what was she thinking? Come back to this backward madhouse of a world? No, Sha-Ka-Ra could find itself a newshodan.She was going to talk Challen into staying in her part of the universe—when she was no longer annoyed with him.
“Are you looking for one of these?”
Tedra deftly caught the small purple fruit Jalla tossed at her, grinning. “How did you know?” Her mouth watered just looking at the sweetly tart thing.
“It is my job to anticipate a mistress’s wants and needs,” Jalla replied.
“Of course, my going nuts over thesevechemyesterday had nothing to do with accurate guessing.”
“Certainly not,” Jalla said primly, then spoiled it by giggling.
Tedra joined her at the cabinet where she was arranging tall, jeweled goblets on a tray around a bottle of chilledyavarnawine. “More guests to impress?” she guessed.
“Merchants from Sha-lah,” Jalla admitted. “The rumor is, they have just been denied a very large order of gaali stones, for which they are most displeased. They will have to go manyreyziout of their way now to find another supplier, and no one can guess why theshodanrefused to deal with them. The chest they brought with them was filled withtobrazto make the purchase, and you know how valuable are those light blue gems.”
Tedra didn’t know, but she could guess why Challen had refused the offer and she couldn’t help but smile delightedly. They hadn’t actually got down to talking trade yet, but he knew what she was most interested in, and obviously was making sure he would have a sufficient supply available.
“You find that amusing?” Jalla asked, perplexed.
Marel had overheard their conversation and interjected snidely, “That one finds everything amusing since thedhayajuice has been put back on its shelf. But it is not likely to stay there overlong.”
“If that was supposed to be a dig, Marel, I’m afraid it missed its mark, since I haven’t the faintest notion of what you were talking about. Nor do I care. But perhaps the Lowden uncle should be made aware that you haven’t got enough to do to keep you busy and minding your own business.”
The younger woman turned a bright shade of mortification when a good many Darasha laughed at Tedra’s remark. Tedra hadn’t meant to shame the girl in front of others, though, so she said no more and left the kitchen. Jalla caught up with her in the hall, her tray of jingling glasses announcing her, if her giggles didn’t.
“That was no more than she deserved, mistress. Lady Marel has ever been a sour mouth to anyone she is jealous of, and she is jealous of most everyone.”
