“I still can’t bear the thought that she’s gone,” he said quietly. “I gave up all hope of having her for my own years ago, or of ever seeing her again, but I never stopped loving her. That was forever. And I never imagined her dying—” He choked up and it was a moment before he added, “I’m sorry, lass. ’Tis as if she only just died for me, and I havena fully accepted it yet.”
“I understand, but I’m confused too. Cecil said it was Ellie you loved, that you only seduced my mother as a means to have revenge on him.”
He flushed with anger, hearing that. “The bastard. He’s become a liar, has he, tae hide his own faults? If anyone was wanting revenge, ’twas him.”
“What really happened then?”
“He loved Eleanor, loved her dearly. He couldna see what a greedy opportunist she was. She could do no wrong as far as he was concerned. And she agreed tae marry him. She wanted his wealth and the position of being an earl’s wife—or she thought she did. The truth was, she couldna stand him, and just ’afore the wedding, she decided the money wasna worth it, that she couldna bear to live wi’ him.”
“She told him, called off the wedding?”
“Nay, he’d given her tae many fancy, expensive presents that she wanted tae keep, you see. She knew he’d be wanting them back and rightly so, if she didna marry him. But I only realized that afterward. At the time, she cried and begged me tae take her away and hide her in Scotland. She claimed they’d had a terrible fight, and he was going tae beat her if he found her. I knew Cecil had an unpredictable temper. ’Twas possible she was telling the truth, or so I thought. But I was a damned fool for believing her.”
“There’d been no fight?”
“Nay, ’twas just her excuse tae get me tae help her. She even admitted it after we’d crossed the border, and laughed because I was so gullible. I should have just let her go and told Cecil the truth, letting him search for her if he was fool enough tae still want her. But I was angry enough tae take her back tae face him. And that was my second mistake.”
“Why?”
“Because she refused tae go back, and when I insisted, she laughed and raced off into the night. I hadna even enough time tae decide whether tae chase her down, when I heard her scream. She was dead when I reached her, her horse crippled. And I’m ashamed tae say I felt more grief for having tae put her horse out o’ its misery than I did for her death, conniving manipulator that she was.”
“But Cecil thought you loved her too, and had been trying to steal her away from him? At least, that’s what he told me. Why would he think that?”
“Because I didna have the heart tae tell him she was running away from him. It would have crushed him totally, and I wanted tae spare him that. So I told him I loved her too, and was drunk enough tae think I could make off with her and she’d actually stay wi’ me. I thought ’twould be better for him tae hate me, if he couldna forgive me, than for him tae know how she really felt about him.”
“I think that was your third mistake. He’s hated all Scotsmen since then, and he’s been a bitter, cold man all the years I’ve known him.”
“’Tis glad I am tae hear it.”
That surprised her. “You’ve hated him as much as he does you? Then why did you try to protect him from Eleanor’s perfidy?”
“Because that was ’afore he had his revenge on me, when I was still his friend and feeling sae guilty for the whole damn mess.”
Kimberly frowned. “This is where I am confused. Cecil claims it was you who took revenge on him.Didyou seduce my mother?”
“Nay, hinny, I loved your mother. I’d always loved Mellie, but I didna think I’d ever be having a chance wi’ her. She was rich, you ken, and I knew her parents wanted her tae marry a title. My family wasna poor, but we werena in their social class by any means. But then I found out she felt the same way about me, and I was the happiest man alive.”
“This was before she married Cecil?”
“Aye, and ’afore he’d asked for her. We were going tae elope. We kept our feelings secret, because her parents wouldna have approved. But Cecil figured out that I was interested in her. I was tae happy for him no’ tae notice.”
“So he tried to steal her from you?”
“He didna just try, he succeeded. And I was tae blind tae see what he was up tae,” Ian answered bitterly.
“But how?”
“He came tae me one day, told me he understood what I’d done wi’ Eleanor, that no mon could help but love her, and he forgave me for it.”
Kimberly’s eyes widened in disbelief. “Cecil said heforgaveyou?”
“It was a lie, hinny, but I didna know it then. He said my presence was reminding him tae much o’ what happened, and he asked me if I’d go away for a while, tae give him, a chance tae get over it wi’out the constant reminder. I could hardly refuse, as guilty as I felt for lying tae him about loving her, just tae spare him that pain. I should’ve confessed the truth that day, yet another mistake on my part, though I doubt he would have believed it by then. Yet it might have changed his mind about what he was planning tae do.”
“So you left?”
“Aye, I agreed tae go for a short time.”
“Why didn’t you just take my mother with you then? You were already planning to elope with her.”
