“Aye, now you know how it feels to have no control of a traitorous body,” he almost purred in his satisfaction. “You made me want this, despite my fury, so I have made you want it, despite your fear.” She shook her head frantically, but he only laughed and thrust more deeply into her. “Aye, deny it as I did, but the proof is the ease with which I entered, the wetness that surrounds me now.Thatis what I wanted, wench, to force you to readiness as you forced me. And the shame of being unable to deny me will be yours each time I take you.”
The pleasure he felt in achieving his revenge was as hard for her to witness as his anger. Rowena closed her eyes once more against it, but that was a mistake. It let her feel the fullness of him deep inside her, which was no new experience, except before she had never been “readied” for him. The difference was beyond description, as day to night. Each slow plunge made her crave the next, harder, deeper, more…until she finally screamed against her gag as the full pleasure exploded and carried her beyond anything she could have imagined.
She was left limp and sated, and a while later, when thought returned, as shamed as he had wanted her to feel. It was inconceivable that she had found pleasure in that ordeal, pleasure at the hands of her enemy, a man who despised her with his every breath. And now she truly knew what he had felt, all of it, and hated him for showing her.
Chapter 17
That first day in the lord’s solar continued endlessly for Rowena, despite the fact that de Chaville had left her the very moment he had finished with her—just as she had always done with him. Of course, she was to remain chained to the bed. Like for like. And if he kept exactly true to what he had endured at her hands, then he would not force her again that day. Verily, she was surprised he had not waited until the middle of the night to summon her to him, for that was when Gilbert had taken her to him that first time.
That first time…she had suffered terrible pain in giving him her maidenhead, made worse because of her ignorance. To be fair, however, he had caused himself pain each time he had fought her, only—he had suffered none today. And she had received no pleasure in taking him, while he had received his man’s pleasure each time. Yet in order for him to rape her here, he would still receive his man’s pleasure, and there was naught fair in that. In fact, she resented it bitterly, that he would have his revengeandthat pleasure.
Like for like. If he did keep true, she could expect to be chained to this bed for three nights, then to be released on the third morn. She could also expect him to force her three times the second night, and the third—if he could manage to do so without her caresses to coax him to it. If he could not manage it on his own…she refused to think of what he might do.
Hours passed with no sound to disturb her. Without realizing it had happened, she lost all feeling in her arms. ’Twas when she stretched that she noticed, and then the feeling rushed back with tingling discomfort. She carefully shook her arms periodically after that, and could only imagine what it would feel like after she had slept for long.
Sleep was a long way from coming, however. The chamber darkened with the approach of night, but she did not close her eyes. She had to relieve herself, but fought the feeling until it passed—and began to fret that she would shame herself on his bed if someone…Oh, God, she thought, he had never been released from his chains to relieve himself. Mildred had attended him, and when Rowena thought of how, her skin burned with mortification, and it had not even happened yet to her. But it had happened to him, another humiliation that he had suffered that she had not even been aware of. Yet if she had considered it at the time, what could she have done to prevent it? Gilbert had not wanted anyone but her and Mildred to know of his presence in the keep, so she could not have sent a manservant to him to make it easier for him to bear.
’Twas almost as if he could read her mind, even through the thick stone walls, for the Lord of Fulkhurst returned then, and he had a maidservant with him, bearing a tray of food. He came directly to the foot of the bed. The woman stopped short as soon as she noticed Rowena, her dark eyes rounding in surprised horror. He had not even covered Rowena when he left her, while she had always drawn that bath sheet he had arrived with back over him before leaving him.
“Put that down, Enid, and go fetch what else is needed,” he told the woman.
Enid did not hesitate and left in a great hurry. Her lord did not notice, for he was watching Rowena. She would not return his look, however, until he ran a finger along the side of her foot, his way of demanding her attention. So she gave it, but with all the hate he was forcing her to feel.
“Oh, ho, what is this? Finally do you show other than a faint heart?” He smiled, but ’twas not true humor, was no more than a further indication of the triumph he was still gloating over. “Notice your antipathy does not displease me. Nay, I welcome it.”
She closed her eyes so he could not see the hatred that pleased him, one small retaliation on her own part. He would not allow even that.
“Look at me,” he ordered harshly, and when she immediately complied, he said, “That is better. Whenever you are in my presence, wench, you will look at me unless I tell you otherwise. Do not make me repeat it.”
Another threat. He was so good at making them, without naming the consequences. This time she showed him how she felt about it with another baleful glare. Why not, when hewelcomed it?
But he was off on a new subject, the one that had brought him there. “’Twould seem I needs make still another allowance because of your gender. You sent a female to attend me. I would have sent you a male, make no mistake, but I could think of no man I could trust to see to just your needs and not his own as well, when the sight of you as you are would stir any man to lust. So Enid will see to you, as she is used to tending the wounded and bedridden, and without carrying tales, for she lost her tongue long ago when another held Fulkhurst for a time.”
His expression changed to the cruel visage she had seen earlier when he was in a high rage, the face of a man capable of committing any atrocity. Since she had done naught to cause it, she had to assume that it was that mention of Fulkhurst Castle being held by another. And she had thought only she and Gilbert had his enmity? She pitied that “other,” if he or she were not already dead.
But his black look did not last; it returned to that smile that was not a true smile. “I find, however, that I will not be satisfied unless you have every humiliation that was mine. So I will lend you my own presence while Enid attends your needs, and as I have already warned you, you will keep your eyes on me. You will not try to ignore me or close your eyes against my presence. Do you understand?”
Rowena was too appalled even to nod, but she would have screamed invective at him if she could. And now she knew a further thing he had suffered, the frustration of being unable to answer back, with curse or otherwise.
Enid returned all too soon and began her new duties without being told. Rowena, cognizant of Warrick’s threat, kept her eyes only on him where he leaned against the bedpost. But she did not see him. She concentrated on Enid instead, and on the brief glance she had had of her, picturing the servant in her mind. Despite her gray hair, the woman was not really old, mayhap only two score in years. She had a slightly crooked nose, but otherwise her features were fair, her skin smooth and unlined. And she had gentle hands that were swift and efficient, for which Rowena would be forever grateful.
The worst was finally over, but that violation of her privacy had been worse than the rape. At least with the rape, he had been naked, too, and with her sense of fairness, she felt she deserved it. But not this. Warrick, through his twisted logic, had given her two people to witness her shame, when he had had only one.
She tried to remember that he had suffered the same thing, the same feelings, and that was why he was forcing them on her. It made no difference. This she had not deserved. And the very moment her gag was removed, she cleared her vision of her self-induced blurring and told him what she thought of him, damn the consequences.
“You are the most despicable, cruel man alive, a thousand times worse than Gilbert!”
His answer was to tell the servant, “I do not care to listen to her, Enid, so keep the food in her mouth so she has no time to do aught but chew it.”
“Bast—”
She nearly choked on the food, there was such a large spoonful of it shoved in her mouth. And before she had half finished chewing it, another took its place. Enid—had she thought she could be grateful to her?—obeyed her lord to the letter. And before Rowena had a chance to say another word, a new gag was being tied in place.
The servant was summarily dismissed after that. And Warrick left the foot of the bed to come to the side and lean over her. His face was almost handsome again, it was so without emotion.
“Stupid wench,” he said blandly. “That was a clever trick, to distort your vision. But had you obeyed me, you would have seen that I lent only my presence, not my attention. Only now you have earned a punishment for your willfulness. Can you guess what it will be?”
His attention? Nay, more than that, for his hand went right to her loins, his fingers pushing painfully into her dry heat and staying there. Her lack of response did not bring a frown this time, however, for he had the memory of her earlier yielding to assure him that she could resist no longer than he.
