Calm? Would she ever know that state again? But she nodded, then realized he could not see it, for he had not looked at her to speak.
“Aye.”
“Though ’tis my right to do so, I do not mean to kill you.”
Rowena had not realized she had held herself as stiffly as he until she sagged into the mattress with her relief. Under the circumstances, she would never have believed she could be so fortunate, nor would she have thought him to be merciful enough to tell her. He could have left her with her terror. He could have…but he was not finished.
“You will be punished. Doubt it not. But my retaliation will be in kind—like for like.” He turned then to see her reaction, but he saw only incomprehension, so he explained. “As you and your brother intended to take my life if I had not escaped, yours now belongs to me, and I find it of little value. As I was treated, so will you be. You have had a reprieve only because I wanted to know first how great was your guilt, if you had succeeded in your theft. We both know that you have. So as you took the child from my flesh, so will it be taken from you when it is born.”
“No,” she said quietly.
“No!?” he exploded incredulously.
“Possession is nine-tenths—”
“We do not speak of properties! ’Tis flesh of my flesh you stole!”
God’s mercy, how had she dared defy him and tempt him to this level of rage? He was livid with it, a mere inch from coming after her and breaking her in two. But she could not let him include the child in his vengeance.
She continued softly, praying he would see reason. “I hold it, I will bear it, and I want it for itself, for no other reason than it will be mine.”
“Neverwill that child be yours. You will be no more than a vessel to succor it till it is born.”
He did not shout that, nay, he said ittoocoldly. “Why do you want it?” she cried. “It will be no more than a bastard to you. Have you not enough of those to satisfy you?”
“What is mine is mine—just as you are now mine to do with as I will. Argue with me no more, wench, or you will immediately regret it.”
That was a promise she could not ignore. She had pushed him too far, had dared much more than was wise at this point. She might know the man intimately, yet she knew him not at all. But time would tell, and she had time now. He had allowed her that, allowed her her life. The issue would definitely be raised again, however, for ’twas too important to her to let it be. But she could wait until she had more hope of winning.
She left his bed to stand beside it. She was surprised that she had even been put on it, as despised as she was. And he had every right to despise her. She wished she could not see his side of it, but she did. She wished he could see her side of it, but he would not. ’Twould not matter to him that she was sorry for what she had done, that she had not wanted to do it. She had still done it. Verily, she deserved whatever retribution he demanded. And to be fair, she did not deserve the child either, not if he considered it stolen from him, as he had said, only—she could not be fair where the child was concerned.
She was becoming tense again under his chilling regard, but finally he said with sneering contempt, “It should not surprise me that you lack intelligence, considering the plan you devised to keep Kirkbur—”
“’Twas Gilbert’s plan, not mine. He wanted it, not me.”
“You still display naught but stupidity.Neverinterrupt me again, wench. And never mention to me again an excuse for what you did. Your Gilbert was not the one who came to me and forced me—”
He was too angry to finish. Rowena became alarmed once more as his skin darkened in hue.
“I am sorry!” she blurted out, knowing it was inadequate, yet knowing not what else to say.
“Sorry? You will be much sorrier, I promise you. But you may begin appeasing my outrage now. I hardly recognize you in clothes, wench. Remove them.”
Chapter 16
Rowena’s breath had stopped completely. Her eyes closed in dread. Fulkhurst had said like for like. She had known that meant he would force her as she had forced him. And ’twould no more pleasant for her than it had been then, which was no more than it should be. But why would he choose this way to punish her when he hated her so, could not really want to touch her? But of course, the revenge was more important to him. Already she understood that about his nature. But to have to remove her clothes for him…
“If I must assist you…”
Another threat of she knew not what, but she did know she did not want to find out. “Nay, I will do it,” she said in an abject whisper.
She turned around to untie her embroidered girdle, but in a few steps he was behind her, his hand gripping her shoulder painfully as he swung her back around. Whatever she had done wrong, his anger was high again. But he did not make her wonder why.
“You know I need the sight of you disrobing to wet my appetite. ’Tis why you stripped for me before. Whoever advised you, wench, advised you well. But know this. If I cannot accomplish what I intend through lack of interest in what you have to offer,youwill have the blame for it. But you will not have another reprieve if that is what you think, because what I cannot do, I will bring in another to do—nay, ten others. I doubt you will disgust them as you do me.”
Rowena met his eyes as he stepped back and wished to God she knew if he really meant that, or if it was just an idle threat. He looked cruel enough to do it. He looked angry enough to do it. But he wanted like for like, and watching her being raped by others would not be the same. Would it?
She dropped her girdle on the floor and reached quickly for the laces on the side of her bliaut. She could not take chances with him, not with such terrifying consequences. But she tried to remember Mildred’s advice and could not recall a single thing. The chamber was too bright with daylight, her skin too hot with embarrassment, her fingers too clumsy. Sheknewshe was not the least bit enticing.
