“Katya?”
Katherine spun around, instantly infuriated, eyes flashing, but after one look at Dimitri, the heated words stuck in her throat. It was as well. She didn’t want him to know he could still ignite her emotions. He was staring at her, not a glance at Alek. She had nothing to fear, yet.
She was proud a moment later when her voice came out so calm. “Surely this is no coincidence.”
“I don’t leave such things to chance.”
“No, you wouldn’t. Very well, Dimitri, since it appears you won’t give up and go home, do tell me what is so important that you must—”
“I love you.”
Oh, God, fantasies again, vividly clear, in broad daylight. She had to sit down, quickly, but with no benches near (she wasnotgoing to collapse at his feet), the nearest tree trunk had to do, and she walked toward it unsteadily, gratefully leaning against it. Maybe he would just fade away, as fantasies were wont to do.
“Did you hear me, Katya?”
“You don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
“Love me.”
“More doubt.” His voice turned sharp, but she wouldn’t look up at him. “First my grandmother, now you. Sweet Christ, why is it so impossible to believe that I could—”
“You’ve seen your grandmother?… Oh, what a silly question. Of course you must have. Did she tell you she came to see me recently?”
Dimitri stared hard at Katherine. She was avoiding meeting his eyes, looking from one side of him to the other, anywhere but at him. What was wrong with her? He hadn’t seen her for nearly a year. A year! He had to fight the urge to crush her in his arms. And she, she changed the subject when he tried to tell her he loved her. She didn’t care. She honestly didn’t care. It was like a knife gutting his insides, but instead of blood, rage spilled out.
“Very well, Katya, we will talk about my grandmother,” he said icily. “Yes, she mentioned that she had met you. She also thinks we won’t suit, as you apparently do.”
“Well, we wouldn’t.”
“You know perfectly well we would suit!”
“You don’t have to shout!” She glared up at him. “Did I shout at you? No, I did not, even thoughIhave every reason to. You used me, Alexandrov. You used me to make your Tatiana jealous. You never went on that Austrian trip. You were in St. Petersburg all along, moping about with a broken heart because your princess chose another man instead of you.”
“Where did you hear such nonsense?” he demanded furiously. “It’s true I didn’t go to Austria. That was simply the excuse I needed for not sending for you in time to take ship for England. But I lied because I couldn’t bear for you to leave me. Sweet Christ!” he exploded. “Do you think I would have stayed away from you at Novii Domik all those months for any other reason? I needed that excuse to keep you from sailing out of my life. What is wrong with that?”
“Nothing, if that were the truth, but I don’t believe a word of it,” Katherine replied doggedly. “You just wanted me around to make Tatiana jealous. She’s the one you love, and yet you would have married me anyway. Well, I don’t need such grand gestures from anyone, thank you. And for your information, you would have married me for nothing. I returned home without the slightest scandal attached to my name, so I didn’t need you to sacrifice yourself on my account. If anyone talks about me, it’s to sympathize. You see, it got around somehow that I eloped at the same time as my sister did, which threw our father off the track, so to speak. But where she has a husband to show for it, I unfortunately lost mine.”
“A widow!” Dimitri snorted. “You are believed to be a widow!”
“I haven’t encouraged that assumption, but that is beside the point. The point is my reputation is still intact. You’ve wasted your time tracking me down, Dimitri, if you thought marriage would clear your conscience.”
“Is that really what you think? That I would sail all the way to England just for a troubled conscience, not once but twice?”
“Twice?”
“Yes, twice. When I couldn’t find you anywhere in St. Petersburg, I had to assume your friend the Ambassador had gotten you out of the country. I was ready to thrash the man for his insistence that he hadn’t even seen you again after the night of the ball.”
“Oh, you didn’t!” she gasped.
“No, I spent my anger elsewhere, on a fellow equally deserving.”
Katherine shivered at the glint of satisfaction that appeared in his eyes for a brief moment, pitying the man responsible for it. “Is the fellow still living?” she asked in a small voice.
Dimitri laughed wryly. “Yes, more’s the pity. And I think he might even marry Tatiana after all. You see, she thought we were fighting over her, the foolish woman. And when I didn’t come to claim her as the victor, she went to console the loser. But he’s welcome to her, Katya, as far as I am concerned. I don’t love her. I never loved her. I was in fact immensely relieved when she chose Lysenko over me. He didn’t believe that, of course, being in love with her himself. The idiot blamed me when she broke off with him, and thought if he got rid of me, he could win her back.”
Katherine turned pale suddenly. “What do you mean, get rid of you?”
