“He wouldn’t believe the truth, and I suppose he’s turned you so much against me that you won’t listen to it, either?” Kathleen asked.
“He didn’t turn me against you,” Vanessa replied, trying to sound neutral but not quite managing it. “He wouldn’t even tell me what you did—”
“Good.”
“Until I turned seventeen and then he told me all of it. Because of you he was forced to leave. Or will you deny you are—were, ultimately responsible for that?”
“There was no choice!”
“There’s always a choice, Mother. That’s the one thing I’ve learned living away from you and your rigid rules. Father will never forgive you for what you did. He wouldn’t even read your letters, just burned them without opening them. But he gained a measure of peace once he stopped loving you.”
“Did you only come here to wound me?”
Good God, were those tears on her mother’s cheeks? She wasn’t prepared for tears! Utterly disarmed, she tried to think of something consoling to say but gave up in a moment. How the deuce did one console someone one hated?
But Kathleen wasn’t finished. “The only mistake I made was not taking the Rathban matter to your father, but even then the results would have been the same. He still would have challenged Henry Rathban to a duel and still would have had to deal with Albert Rathban’s wrath. But at least he wouldn’t hate me now.”
“I didn’t say that he does,” Vanessa said. “He fell out of love with you. That’s what gave him peace, so donotbegrudge him that.”
“I don’t,” Kathleen said. “I’ve never wished any ill on him. My heart broke when he had to leave me—that he wanted to leave me.”
Vanessa didn’t believe any of that. “I don’t like lying to my sisters. I don’t know how long I can keep it up without slipping and saying something about where I’ve really been. They are grown women now and deserve the truth.”
“No one deserves that kind of truth. It was your father’s idea to claim he had business to take care of in the Caribbean to explain his absence.”
“But I don’t think either of you thought far enough ahead. It’s already been six years. What happens in another five years when a business trip will no longer suffice as an excuse? Or when the twins are married and they want to visit him, what then?”
“That’s a bridge that doesn’t need to be crossed yet.”
“Bloody hell, Mother, that bridge is sinking.”
Kathleen stiffened. “What exactly did your father tell you?”
“Everything. You betrayed him with another man!”
“I swear I didn’t.”
“But you would have,” Vanessa accused. “You were in the very process of doing so when Father caught you.”
“Good God, he had no right to tell you that!”
“Hardly the point. Too much time has passed. The twins don’t understand why he’s still not home. It’s not as if we’re going to become paupers with the loss of a plantation in the West Indies. Layla and Emily aren’t stupid, Mother. So at least tell them something about why Father can’t return to England, or I will.”
She left the room with that ultimatum, bolstered by anger once again and proud that she had it somewhat under control. She wasn’t sure what to make of Kathleen’s swearing that she hadn’t betrayed her husband. Why did her mother think she could lie when she’d been caught in the act? William hadn’t believed her denial with that sort of evidence. Why should she?
Chapter Nineteen
KATHLEEN STARED AT THEdoor Vanessa had just closed and let her tears flow freely now. She was so utterly pleased to have her firstborn home again, but so conflicted because of it. Six years! She had begun to fear she might never see Vanessa again and there would be nothing she could do about it.
But she was finally home. It just wasn’ttheirVanessa who had returned to them. The young woman who had stood there so defiantly was nothing like the thirteen-year-old child she remembered. The child had never been so bold or ever expressed so much anger. She was nothing like her sisters. She didn’t even look like the lady she was, or apparently think like one. Good Lord, what had William done? Turned Vanessa into a son just to spite her? Bold, daring—defiant, just as a boy would be. And how could she tell Vanessa about what she’d done when the girl was already so angry over the past? She couldn’t, not immediately. She had to disarm Vanessa’s anger first but wasn’t sure if the truth would suffice. It hadn’t with William.
Once again, her hatred of the Rathbans for destroying her family rose up to choke her. The rest of them weren’t as despicable as Henry, but Albert Rathban, the eldest, was a close second and still held the cards.
After the debacle, she’d still had hope that the ultimatum Albert had given William when he’d been grief-stricken could be rescinded. She’d intended to appeal to him after some time had passed and would have done so if she hadn’t heard that his remaining brother, John, had died barely a year after Henry’s death. She’d had to wait again until Albert’s grief over the loss of his last brother had ebbed and wouldn’t cloud his judgment so much that he wouldn’t listen to the truth about what had transpired between her and Henry, as William had done.
So nearly two years passed before she’d dared to visit Albert to appeal to any sense of decency and fairness he might have. She’d struck a deal with him, although it wasn’t what she had hoped for. And the interview had been an utterly debasing experience for her.
Too many bad memories were returning all at once. She thrust them away and joined the twins for breakfast, hoping they could distract her. But all they did was give her expectant looks, and she didn’t doubt they were waiting to hear what she had to say about Vanessa’s return—and her ridiculous appearance. Vanessa was going to be a bad influence on them. She had to make peace with her eldest daughter before that happened. But how?
