He had nothing to say. But he didn’t want to leave. “I’ve never seen a mother suckling her babe before. Do you mind?” he asked clumsily.
“He’s your…no, I don’t mind,” she finished, keeping her eyes on the baby.
He leaned against the door for a moment, studying her. Was the child his? She said he was. And every instinct of his own said he was. Then why was he stubbornly denying the truth? Because leaving a wife who had forced herself on him was one thing. But leaving a pregnant wife was something else again. True, she hadn’t told him. But his leaving was still, in view of the pregnancy she’d borne alone, contemptible. Damnation take it. She had put him in this position by keeping silent about her condition. How the devil was he to get out of it?
Reggie turned the boy around to give him her other breast. Nicholas caught his breath as both creamy white globes were revealed to him in the moment before she covered one of them.
He approached her slowly, drawn against his will, and didn’t stop until he stood before her chair. She looked up at him, but he didn’t trust himself to meet her eyes. It was all he could do to keep from touching her.
He kept his eyes on the child, but that led his gaze to her breast, and to her open throat, and to her soft lips. What would she do if he kissed her? He bent over to find out.
Nicholas heard her gasp just before his mouth took hers. He kept the kiss short and sweet, the lightest touch, ending it before she had a chance to turn away. He straightened, still without meeting her eyes.
“He’s a beautiful baby, Regina.”
It was several long moments before she replied, “I like to think so.”
He smiled hesitantly. “I envy him at this moment.”
“Why?”
He looked directly into those dark, clear blue eyes. “You have to ask?”
“You don’t want me, Nicholas. You made that quite clear before you left. Have you changed your mind?”
He stiffened. She’d like him to beg, wouldn’t she? That would give her a chance to humiliate him. She had sworn she’d never forgive him and she probably wouldn’t. He didn’t blame her, but he was not going to make things worse. He turned and walked away without a word.
Chapter 30
HE was serious! He actually meant for them to pack everything that would go to Silverley and leave within the same day. Nicholas made his high-handed announcement at breakfast, having the unmitigated nerve to use the excuse that he could not remain in a house where he had no study. What could she say, she who had given him that excuse in a long-ago moment of pique? Infuriating man!
Well, she wouldn’t go without Eleanor. All she needed was to be stuck in the country with two unfriendly people. No, Eleanor must come along. But she didn’t tell Nicholas this, she told Eleanor. Ellie refused at first, but Reggie persisted until she gave in.
And so for the rest of the day they were all kept quite busy—except for Nicholas, who simply stood around looking satisfied with the upheaval he had caused. There was no time for Reggie to say any good-byes to her family. Quickly jotted notes had to suffice for that. But even with everyone pitching in to help—everyone except Nicholas—it was nearly evening before the last trunk was loaded onto the extra wagon that had been procured.
Reggie was no longer speaking to the Viscount, but her annoyance with him ran much deeper than today’s nonsense. She was in fact disturbed over her encounter with him last night. Whatever Nicholas had been up to, he’d succeeded in making it nearly impossible for her to get back to sleep. It was not that he had kissed her. If she cared to be honest with herself, it was that he had done nothing beyond kissing.
Therein lay her confusion. How could she still want him after everything he had done to her? But want him she did. She had seen him standing there in the doorway, his silk robe open nearly to the waist, his sun-streaked hair all tousled, an intense look in those honey-gold eyes, and she’d been jolted with a desire so strong it frightened her. Seeing him like that was enough to make her forget all the months of cursing him.
Then what was she to do? It wasn’t as if she were going to forgive him. She wasn’t. She had no business thinking of him amorously.
Eleanor and Tess and the baby rode in the larger coach with Reggie and Nicholas, while Meg, Harris, and Eleanor’s maid occupied the smaller coach. With three women near him, Thomas did not lack for soft bosoms to sleep against. He was a silent passenger most of the time, and the women conversed quietly now that they could relax. Nicholas made a point of appearing bored with their chatter. They in turn ignored him, Reggie to the extent that she didn’t hesitate to lower her dress and nurse her son when he began to fidget. Let him say something. Just let him.
At this point a change came over Nicholas. He had been amused by his wife’s haughty air all day, and even his aunt’s frigid looks, for sweet-tempered Eleanor had never been able to stay angry with him for long. He was a little surprised that she was going to Silverley, for she hadn’t been there since his father’s death six years before. He supposed Eleanor felt Regina needed moral support, and this amused him while hurting him at the same time.
Humor was only part of the maelstrom of his emotions, however. He must be depraved to be stirred by the simple act of Regina’s feeding the child, but he was stirred. A commiserating voice whispered in the back of his mind that he was being too hard on himself. He was forgetting that Regina had always had this effect on him.
That realization did not help at all. Regina would shun his advances. And he would make a complete ass of himself by trying to woo his own wife, wouldn’t he? If they could share the same bedroom, the proximity might help. After all, she was a passionate woman. But the place they had just left and the one they were going to were both so large that they didn’t need to share a room.
There was only one way he could ever share a room with her, and that was through necessity, which wasn’t likely…or was it? By God, yes! There was one way, and he had almost missed the opportunity, for they were more than halfway to Silverley already. He ran the idea through his mind and concluded it just might work.
Without further analyzing the plan, which would only bring to light possible flaws, Nicholas called out to the driver to stop at the next inn.
“Is something wrong?” Eleanor asked.
“Not at all, Aunt Ellie. I just realized I would prefer a hot meal tonight, rather than the cold fare we can expect at Silverley, arriving at this late hour.”
“But it isn’t that late yet. Aren’t we almost there?” Reggie wanted to know.
