“He must have known you’d be able to do that if you turned out to be a shifter.”
“Yes. He was always testing me. He would tell my mother that he’d been working late, or that the bloodstains on his shirt cuffs were from a nosebleed, or that he loved her. Watching me carefully the whole time. To see if I flinched.”
“What happened when he realized?”
“He didn’t.” Shan gave her another of those tight, humorless smiles. “I learned to control myself. I waited, biding my time. I gathered all his secrets, all his lies, until I was sure it would be enough. And then I went to my mother. I showed her my qiongqi. And I told her the truth about my father. All of it. I told her he didn’t love her. That he never had.When I was done, she just looked at me. And she said,I know.”
Shan stopped, breathing out.
“And in that moment, I knew exactly why my father had done it,” he said quietly. “Why he’d spent so much time and effort winning her heart, only to betray her again and again. Because every time she told him,I love you, it carried a trace of that flavor. The taste the qiongqi craves. Truth. And pain.”
He’d been a child. Younger than the campers, even. Just a child, trying to help his mother. Never suspecting she already knew the truth.
“Oh, Shan.” She wished she could gather up that long-lost boy in her arms. “You didn’t know. It wasn’t your fault.”
He pulled his hand out of hers. “But it was. I made it impossible for my mother to keep lying to herself. She was forced to confront my father at last. That conversation, I did not hear. But he left the next day. That was the last time I saw him.”
“That doesn’t sound like much of a loss.”
“No.” He fell silent for a moment, rubbing his fingers over his claws. “He tried to convince me to go with him. He said we were alike, that he could teach me how to be qiongqi. I pushed him away. Shouted at him that we werenothingalike, that I would never be a monster like him. He just laughed. And he said,we are monsters, my son. Never forget that.Every word like honey. It was one of the only true things I ever heard him say.”
She digested all this. “Is your father still alive?”
“No.”
“Good.”
Shan breathed out the faintest of laughs; a real one, this time. “I did not have a hand in his death. But I admit that I was glad when I received news of it. I am even more glad, now.”
“Yeah, it would be awkward if you had to hunt me down for murdering your sperm donor. What a…” She hesitated, ingrained habit battling against anger. Anger won. “What an absolute piece ofshit.”
His eyebrows shot up. “That’s the first time I’ve ever heard you swear.”
“We’re not supposed to at camp. But some situations require profanity. You’re right about one thing, Shan. If he could say those things to you, then hewasa monster.”
“I thought you didn’t believe in monsters.”
She shoved her shoulder against him in exasperation. “I said no-one isborna monster, you silly man. Not that people couldn’t choose to be one. There’s a difference.”
Shan seemed to turn this idea over a few times. “You think he chose to give in to the qiongqi’s instincts?”
“No, I think he was a sadistic piece of shit. The fact that he was a qiongqi as well is beside the point. I have no doubt he used his animal as an excuse. Buthedecided to hurt people. To hurtyou. Oh, the utter bastard. He’s lucky he’s dead. If I knew where he was buried, I’d piss on his grave.”
She was nearly spitting with fury. To her surprise, Shan put his arm around her. He pulled her against his side, dropping his chin to rest on the top of her head.
“Thank you,” he murmured against her hair.
Oh, no. He smelled good.Reallygood. She extricated herself before her scent could betray her.
“Anytime. Just let me know if you have any other asshole relatives I can skin on your behalf.” She gave him an awkward pat on the arm, hoping the smoke from the fire would conceal her pheromones. “So, it was just you and your mom after that?”
“For a while. Though I did not see her much.” Shan gestured at his sunglasses. “My eyes changed that day. It soon became clear it was going to get worse. I couldn’t pass forhuman, so she sent me to a boarding school for shifters. Though that was not the only reason. It was hard on her, having me around. Looking like I did. Being what I was. She would never admit it. But I knew the truth. I stayed away as much as I could. She passed away when I was sixteen. A car accident. I didn’t go home for the funeral. There would have been too many people there who didn’t know what I was. I couldn’t risk anyone seeing my eyes.”
Good job, Leonie. He’d only asked her about her sister, and in return she’d made him relive his all his traumatic childhood memories. What a way to thank him for all his help. She wouldn’t blame him for refusing any future assignments within five hundred miles of the camp after this.
Shan cleared his throat. “My turn. Truth or dare.”
Well, he’d started it. Truth had turned out to be rather fraught, so she went with the safer option. “Dare.”
