She kept her tone low, but her words rocked him back on his heels. Sweet, so sweet. He couldn’t deny the truth of them. Not anymore.
Leonie took a deep breath and let it out again. “At least, not alone. I know you mean well, Shan. But you cannot make someone else’s choices for them. Not out of fear, or because you think you know what’s best. Not even out of love.”
He swallowed. “Leonie, I?—”
“You say your mate already knows,” she interrupted. She put her hand on his arm, her gaze clear and steady. “I think you should tell her the truth anyway. All of it. And if you can’t take even that small step toward trusting both yourself and her, then you’re right. Sheisbetter off without you.”
Her words were not sweet. He knew that taste. Had dreamed of it, longed for it, deep in the darkest parts of his soul. Had hoped to never taste it again.
Truth. Raw and bleeding.
Leonie released him, stepping away. “I have to put thegirls to bed. After that, I’ll be in my cabin. If you have anything to say, you know where to find me.”
He put the boys to bed, the small rituals of toothbrushes and pajamas a familiar routine by now. He left the cabin, switching off the light. He walked the length of the camp, and back again, passing by laughing groups of off-duty counselors as silently as a ghost. Over and over, until the moon was high, and all was still.
He walked.
He stopped.
He knocked.
“Shan!” Zephyr looked distinctly startled to find Shan standing on his doorstep. The director rubbed his eyes, as if he’d been asleep, and still thought he might be dreaming. “What are you doing here? Is something wrong?”
“My apologies for disturbing you at home.” It was hard to hear his own voice through the roar ofHUNGERandHUNTandNO.Behind his back, his claws bit into his own palms. “But I needed to inform you without delay. Tomorrow morning, I am leaving the camp.”
CHAPTER 21
“Huh?” Archie yawned, blinking sleepily. “Is it morning al—mmf!”
Rufus took his hand away from the other boy’s mouth, putting his finger across his own lips instead. Then he pointed at the open window.
Archie needed no further encouragement. Throwing off his blanket, he scrambled out of bed.
Spencer sat up as the two boys tiptoed past his bunk. “Where are you two going?”
“Uh…” Archie said. “The bathroom?”
Spencer’s eyes narrowed behind his red-tinted lenses. “What, through the window?”
“I am sound asleep,” Ig muttered from the bunk above. “This is all a bad dream. Any idiot who tries to wake me up is going to regret it. Snore.”
Archie eyed the slumbering dorm room. “Spencer, just go back to sleep, okay?”
“Oh no.” Spencer got out of bed, planting himself squarely in front of Archie. “I want to know why you’re sneaking around.”
Rufus tapped Archie on the shoulder. He gestured at Spencer, then Ig, then at the window again.
Archie blew out his breath. “Okay, I guess you can come along. You too, Ig.”
“If you idiots are caught, you’ll all be banned from camp for life.” Ignatius emerged from under his pillow. “On second thought, wait for me.”
One at a time, the four boys climbed out the window. Finley was already outside, flat against the wall of the cabin. His eyes widened when he saw Spencer, but he didn’t comment.
Archie started to say something, but Rufus held up a hand, silencing him. He darted away, bare feet soundless on the hard-packed dirt. The other boys exchanged glances, then followed.
The bathrooms were in a separate building, shared between multiple cabins. A light was on above the door, but Rufus led them all around the back instead. He paused, then let out a soft whistle.
“We’re here.” Estelle emerged from behind a bush, followed by Beth and Tiff. “Did anyone spot you sneaking out?”
