“I will try not to be shocked by random public nudity,” she said. “Any other pearls of wisdom to bestow upon me?”
Archie ticked items off on his fingers. “Don’t run on the dock, because the lifeguard lady is super strict and kind of scary. Don’t take cookies from the kitchen, even if the door isn’t locked and they’re sitting out right where anyone can see them. Don’t leap out at someone as a joke, because you might scare them into shifting, which is a problem if they turn out to be a wooly mammoth and you’re in the bathroom.”
“I cannot help but note that these all seem remarkably specific.”
“Ididn’t do any of them,” Archie said quickly. “I’m just letting you know. In case you were, say, thinking about trapping a neat rat in an empty ice cream carton so you could bring it to campfire circle to show everyone, and only later discover that the counselors have spent all afternoon hunting for Maisie from Maple cabin.”
Paige bit back a groan. “Archie…”
“That was a hypno—hippo—hyperthetical example.”
“Hypothetical. And no, it wasn’t.”
“How was I supposed to know she was a camper?” Archie protested. “It’s not like she was wearing a teeny tiny rat-sized camp t-shirt. And I put a huge piece of cheese in there with her, so she wasn’t mad about it. She didn’t even tell on me. Anyway, just assume any animal you see is probably a kid.”
“I will restrain my natural desire to pick up random wildlife. Is that it?”
“No. And this is the most important rule of all, so pay attention.” Archie jabbed his finger at her, punctuating each word. “Absolutely. No. Mating.”
Paige was used to conversations with Archie taking an abrupt turn into the bizarre. This, however, was overly unexpected even for her little brother. She stared at him, sucker-punched into silence.
“Oh, right. You probably don’t know about mating.” Archie drew in a deep breath. “Basically, it’s when a man puts his?—”
“I know what mating is!” Paige hissed. She glanced nervously at their fellow passengers again. “And keep your voice down!”
“Why?” Archie said, loud enough to carry the entire length of the bus. “Mating is a beautiful and natural way that grown-ups express their love for each other. That’s what Honey said, when I asked her about it. Then Buck had a really big coughing fit and she had to go get him some water.”
“I think I’m going to need to have a word with your former counselors,” Paige muttered. She hadn’t expected his last summer at camp to have been quitethateducational. “I hope this time you really are talking hypothetically.”
“Nope.” Archie shook his head in emphasis. “Buck and Honey got the mating fever last summer. They got itbad.”
She was definitely going to need to talk to Buck and Honey. And possibly the director. Paige was beginning to wonder if ithad been a good idea to send Archie back to Camp Thunderbird after all.
“Uh,” she said, hoping that she’d somehow misunderstood. “And by mating fever, you mean… what, exactly?”
“They went all…” Archie wrinkled his nose. “Mushy.”
“Mushy?”
Archie nodded solemnly. “Yeah. It was like more of their brains dribbled out their ears every day. It wasn’t too bad at first, but by the end of the summer, they were always sneaking glances at each other, or finding excuses to hold hands. This one time, I actually saw Buck give Honey flowers.”
“I see.” Paige did her best to look grave. “Clearly a tragic case of degenerative illness.”
Archie glared at her. “You aren’t taking this seriously, Paige!”
“Believe me, I’m taking this exactly as seriously as it deserves.”
“You’d better.” Archie folded his arms. “Mating fever is no joke. Especially for shifter men. If a shifter catches it and doesn’t claim his mate in time, he can literally die.”
“Archie, no matter what other boys might tell you, men cannot actually die from that.”
“Shifter men can! You should have seen Buck! He kept stomping around all cranky and growly.” Archie paused, brow furrowing. “Even more cranky and growly than usual, I mean. If we hadn’t helped them out, he probably would have exploded.”
This couldn’t possibly be a real thing… could it? A tiny thread of doubt wound through Paige’s amusement. She was hardly an expert on shifters. Until a couple of years ago, she hadn’t even known they existed.
“Where did you learn all this?” she asked cautiously.
“From the other kids at camp. They told me all about mates and mating fever and all that stuff.” Archie’s chest swelled with pride. “Though I could tell them a lot too, because they didn’tknow how the mate bond actually gets made. But I figured it out. It’s all down to the special shifter man glue.”
