21
Case took over as many of the arrangements as Lydia would allow, hoping against hope that he could give her a small break so she could actually have time to deal with her feelings. There was probably no way around funeral arrangements being time-consuming and complicated as hell, but God, it felt almost cruel to ask anyone to go through all that while they were still in the rawest stage of grief. He tried to handle as much of it as he could.
It helped that Ruth had had such a strong personality that in some cases, it was easy to know what she would and wouldn’t have wanted: no, they wouldn’t be having her ashes turned into fireworks, thanks. Nor would the funeral have a “fun theme.”
He wanted the service to be the tiniest bit of a balm for Lydia, who would need the closure, and a fitting acknowledgment of Ruth, who had been Mountainview’s unflinchingly devoted sentinel for so many years.
With all that going on, neither he nor Lydia needed a flood of people coming to them with dishwasher-level squabbles, but that was what they were getting. But it felt like the wrong time to suggest, however gently, that these weren’t problems the whole pack needed to deal with. Lydia wasn’t the only one around here who was grieving and a little bit at sea without Ruth’s presence. Mountainview’s residents needed some reassurance, and Case didn’t want to deny them that.
He was slowly learning when to trust his wolf and go with its instincts over his own. And even though it had shared his skepticism about the Graves’ little problem, it didn’t once balk at handling any of this.
We are co-alpha now, it said,and the welfare of the pack is our business.
Including dishwashers?
It flicked its ears back and forth when it was thinking, like they were two little metronomes. Case found it oddly adorable—at least as adorable as he could find something that didn’t exist outside of his own mind’s eye.
It’s not about dishwashers now, his wolf said finally.It’s about them wanting to see us and our mate and know that someone is still looking out for them.
That was what Case had sensed too, and that was why he was willing to go along with even the silliest, most obviously trumped-up “disputes” that people came to them with right after Ruth’s death. He took some of them solo, to give Lydia some time and space, but sometimes she seemed to crave the distraction and the pack’s presence. He let her be the judge of what she needed most at any given time, and no one, to his relief, quibbled about her sometimes choosing to sit things out.
That was more proof of what he’d already known: Mountainview’s people weren’t unreasonable or uniquely needy. It reassured him that he and Lydiacouldwork out a system that would be good for everyone in the long-run. It wouldn’t leave any of the pack out in the cold, neglected or unhelped, but it also wouldn’t leave Lydia feeling drained and trapped. Even in the midst of all the grief and stress they were going through right now, it was still getting easier and easier to imagine a future.
To imagine ahomehere.
But before they could get properly started on any of that, they had to get through the funeral.
“One more day,” Lydia said. “After tomorrow, Reeve is out of our hair for good. Even if he comes back, he can’t challenge fully established alphas.”
She took a black dress out of the thrift store garment bag and carefully hung it up on the closet door.
Case looked at it. “That suits you,” he said frankly. “I know that’s not anybody’s top concern about something they’re going to wear to a funeral, but—”
“No, I know.” She smiled a little. “I’m actually not the one who picked it out. Jen—the thrift shop owner—saw it come in and held it for me, since she knew it was my size and knew I was going to need one. Every time I get frustrated that I can’t leave this place, I’m going to think about that. People around here stick by each other.”
“They do. Did I tell you that I practically had to argue Polly into charging usanythingfor the bakery catering the wake? There are a lot of good people around here.”
“There are.” She sat down on the bed and looked up at him. “And you really like it here?”
“Of course I do. I’m not as mated to—and married to—Mountainview as I am to you, but it might be close. It’s gorgeous here, and the people are great.”
It was hard to say the next part, but if he couldn’t be vulnerable with her, then he couldn’t be vulnerable with anyone.
“I sort of convinced myself that I couldn’t have that, you know. I always liked moving around, but after a while, I kind ofhadto keep moving around, if that makes sense. Because wherever I went, people acted like there was something wrong with me because of how I’d been living. Either they wanted me gone or they wanted me to settle down because it would be good for me, like it was a dose of medicine I needed to take whether I wanted it or not. Don’t get me wrong, I made friends, and I met plenty of nice people, ones who would have been happy enough if I’d stuck around, but I never found a sense of ... community. I never found anything like Mountainview. Not before it, and not before you.”
To his surprise, his little speech—as awkward as it felt to him—actually made Lydia tear up a little.
“Happy tears,” she said instantly, catching Case’s look of alarm. She stood up to give him a hug. “I’m so glad that you feel like you belong here. I was ....” She took a deep breath. “I know that it’s silly, since we’re meant for each other, but I kept thinking, ‘What if he wants to leave?’”
He kissed the top of her head. “No. I promise, Lydia, I love living here.”
“Right, but being sostuck. I kept worrying that you’d mind it.”
The last thing he wanted was for her to worry, so he almost didn’t say anything at all. But ever since they had worked out that they were mates, they had been open with each other. They’d spent enough time and effort trying to hide how much they cared, and that had been bad enough. They didn’t have to hide anything anymore. He didn’t want them to be on different pages again, and he had the uneasy feeling they were getting close to that.
“We’re not exactly stuck,” Case said. “There isn’t some curse laid on pack alphas that prevents them fromeverleaving Mountainview, right?”
Lydia pulled away from him a little, which was a bad sign that made prickles race up and down his spine.
