“Oh!” she exclaimed, delighted. “You’re going to show me your shift forms! Oh, I can’t wait! Especially for the extinct ones... er, not that I don’t want to see the others too. I want to see all of them! I guess this a secret shifter neighborhood where you can all turn into giant sloths and brachiosauruses and glyptodons with no one batting an eyelash, right? It’s deliberately boring-looking as protective coloration!”
The Defenders looked at each other, then laughed. But they clearly weren’t laughingather.
“I’m so glad you’re Norris’s—er, that you and Norris are dating,” said Merlin. “Because I can’t wait to show you my shift form! You’re going to love it!”
“I see why you two...” Roland began, looking at her and Norris, then paused. He concluded, “...get along.”
“It’s not a secret shifter neighborhood,” said Carter. “Though those do exist. We could take you to one of them later and show you our shift forms, if you like.”
“I’d love that!” Annabeth exclaimed. “But if that’s not why you’re here, then...?”
Norris gave her a distinctly wicked grin. “This is the cheating toad’s neighborhood. We’re going to give you a very special present.”
“Revenge!” Natalie declared dramatically. “Sweet, sweet revenge!”
“Served cold as a frappucino!” Merlin proclaimed.
“It won’t be anything that will get me thrown in jail,” Norris assured Annabeth. “Or you. Or any of us. Carter’s disabled the security cameras.”
Pete put in, “Tirzah and Ransom are in a parked van, monitoring the house. No one’s home. They’ll give us plenty of warning if anyone approaches.”
“And I shifted to make sure no one’s at home around the cheating toad’s house,” Merlin put in.
Natalie brushed her rainbow hair out of her face and gave Annabeth a pat on the shoulder. “Plus, what we’re doing isn’t the sort of thing that’s likely to get reported to the police, or that the police would prioritize investigating if it did get reported, or that could ever be proved who did it if they did investigate.”
“Whatarewe doing?” Annabeth asked.
Norris squeezed her hand. “We’re giving the cheating toad a little Christmakkalistice present.”
Wildly curious and bubbling with anticipation, Annabeth threw on the workman’s clothes they gave her. Norris put on an outfit as well. They walked to a house with a van parked outside. The Defenders took ladders and moving equipment from the van, while Carter unlocked the door.
Roland snapped his fingers. “Let’s get going!”
The Defenders and Norris sprang into action. Dali and Fen oversaw them. Tirzah stayed in the van, and Annabeth stood outside and watched. She wasn’t sure exactly what they were doing until Norris and Pete carried out a sofa, then carefully maneuvered it up the ladders and placed it on the roof.
Annabeth burst out laughing. “Are you moving all his furniture onto the roof?”
“Furniture, TV, clothes, everything,” said Norris. “He can have fun getting it down.”
“Wewon’t damage anything,” said Dali. “No guarantees for him, though.”
Annabeth felt like her heart was growing three sizes as she watched Norris and the Defenders pile all the cheating toad’s possessions into a household Jenga tower atop the roof. The dining room table stood upright with all the chairs standing on top of it, a heavy-looking dresser balanced on the chair seats, the microwave on top of the dresser, and the TV on top of the microwave.
All of the cheating toad’s belongings were neatly packed in cardboard boxes, sealed and unlabeled, and stacked atop the sofa. Annabeth had never seen a house packed up so quickly. It was a wonder of efficiency. They even packed the toilet paper, in a box that Natalie carefully maneuvered so it was wedged under the sofa. The contents of the refrigerator and freezer went into coolers filled with dry ice. Once they were placed on top of the roof, the refrigerator was unplugged and stood on top of the coolers.
The Defenders hadn’t damaged anything. They’d taken care to not even let his frozen food get spoiled. And yet...
Norris handed Annabeth a piece of paper and a Sharpie. “Want to write him a note? I’ll pin it to the sofa for you.”
She grinned fiercely and took the paper and pen. A few minutes later, she stood looking at an empty house, a roof stacked up like some work of modern art commenting on American life, and a note pinned to the sofa that read “HAPPY CHRISTMAKKALISTICE. HO. HO. HO.”
Annabeth once again began to laugh as she imagined the cheating toad and the antlered blonde coming home to find this scene. She laughed and laughed, letting all her hurt and anger and humiliation float away in the breeze. Her ex was a petty, shallow, awful person, not worthy of her attention. How could she let someone as pathetic as him ruin something as wonderful as winter holidays?
“Now we’re even,” she said to Norris. “And I’m free of him. This is the best Christmakkalistice ever. And you gave it to me.”
She flung herself into his arms, and they kissed until she felt a tap on her shoulder.
“I hate to break you up,” said Dali. “But we really shouldn’t stand around here for longer than we have to.”
