Celeste bit her lip. Pierce’s tone was a little cold, and she couldn’t exactly say she blamed him. She knew that pegasi could sense magic – it must have been a shock for him to see its aura surrounding her.
“I –” she started, before she realized she had absolutely no idea what to say next. “I – don’t know how to explain,” she finally stuttered out. And more to the point,shouldshe explain? Everyone in her family had always told her how important it was that she keep everything about magic in the utmost secrecy. She didn’t think she should blurt out the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth just now, even if itwasto Pierce.
Who didn’t even tell me he was a shifter, after all!
“And anyway, I feel likeyoumight have a bit of explaining to do yourself,” she finally managed to snap out. “Why didn’t you ever tell me about yourself? About what you are?”
Some of the cold look in Pierce’s eyes evaporated at her words, though his jaw clenched visibly.
“I – I didn’t know what you’d think at the time,” he said, after a long pause. “I’d only known you for a few weeks. I didn’t want you to think I was crazy. It’s not exactly an easy thing to explain. And I didn’t know at the time you probably already knew what shifters are. Since you never mentioned being a magic user.”
Celeste clenched her fist. All right –maybehe had a point there.
“Well, the same goes for me too,” she said coolly. “You say you didn’t want me to think you were crazy – but maybe I was worried about the same thing. Like you said, how do you slot that into a conversation? ‘Hey, you’re the love of my life – by the way, did you know magic is real and I –’”
She cut herself off suddenly, both at the realization that she’d just called Pierce the love of her life,andthat she’d been just about to blurt out her family’s secrets after having misgivings about doing exactly that. Maybe Pierce hadn’t noticed, though, because he was shaking his head in what looked like exasperation.
“All right – I can see that. But I didn’t want to corner you or make you feel obliged to me. I wanted you to want to be with me because you felt something forme, not just because you’re my mate –”
Now it was Pierce’s turn to cut himself off suddenly, blinking at her as if he was surprised by the words that had just come surging out of his mouth.
And to be fair, it took Celeste a moment to realize what he’d said herself, filled as she was with semi-righteous indignation.
“Well, I don’t know how I was supposed to –” she started, before her brain caught up with her ears, and she rocked back on her heels suddenly, gaping at him. “Wait – did you saymate? That I’m your… yourmate?”
But she already knew what she’d heard – the look on Pierce’s face only confirmed it.
Shock churned though Celeste. Of course, she only knew in general terms whatmated bondsmeant to shifters; she’d read about it as part of her general studies, but she’d never had any reason to think about it much.
Or so I thought…
“You… you can’t really mean that,” she said after a moment, forcing the words out of her suddenly numb lips. “You can’t have known it back then, and then let me…”
She trailed off, staring at him. She’d read about shifters who, deprived of their one true mate, had pined away into nothingness. She’d read about the pain it caused them to be separated from their mates, how it was like a wound in their hearts that never truly healed. Had Pierce truly feltthatthese past twenty years, after she’d told him their future together was impossible? Had he really justlet her go,knowing what she was to him?
Pierce shook his head again. “Of course I mean it, Celeste,” he said, his voice low and gravelly with pain. “I’d wanted to tell you, back then – I’d planned on it. On the very evening you told me you couldn’t see me anymore. And then it was too late.”
Celeste’s throat tightened. “But – you could have told me then, even after I said that!” She could hear her voice was wild, but she couldn’t stop it. “If you’d told me back then, I would have –”
“Exactly. I know you would have,” Pierce said, despair tinging his voice. “You’d already told me it was impossible – you didn’t say why, but I knew you wouldn’t be saying it if you didn’t truly mean it. What kind of man would I have been if I’d told you then about what I was, just to keep you with me? It would have been selfish – more than that, it would have been emotional blackmail. How could I have done that to you?”
Celeste’s breath caught in her throat as she stared at him. She knew what he was saying made sense. Hadn’t she done exactly the same thing, and made exactly the same decision? Hadn’t she decided that, even if shecouldhave explained to him everything about her family and her duty to keep the magical wards strong, she couldn’t ask him to live with her in near-complete isolation on the rocky crag, with only books – and her – for company?
“Pierce,” she said, her voice coming out as a harsh croak. “I think… I think we have a lot to talk about.”
Pierce blinked at her, before shaking his head. “I think you can say that again.”
“Do you think we can do it somewhere other than in the middle of this muddy field, though?” Celeste asked, reaching up to brush her hair back from her eyes as the wind blew it in her face – and,oh great, she came away with a handful of leaves that had been caught up in it. She must have been standing here having one of the most important conversations of her life with leaves stuck in her hair, looking completely ridiculous.
Not that Pierce really had much room to talk about that – he was, after all, wearing one of the silliest sweaters ever devised by human hands, and, she realized, he had a feather stuck in his hair that must have been left over from his parade decorations.
And justhowdid he come to get caught up in the Christmas parade anyway?!
“I think that might be for the best,” Pierce said, his voice still a little tense. “But where do you think we should go? All the cafes are closed – or at least, I didn’t pass an open one during the parade. Besides which, we probably shouldn’t discuss all of this in public.”
“You’re right.” Celeste chewed her lip, a little uncertain. But she didn’t let herself think for too long. Not telling the truth had gotten them into this mess. Right now, she didn’t really care about Gordon hitting the roof if he found out she’d revealed the secrets that her family had hidden for generations – she only wanted Pierce to know everything, to finally know the truth.
It’s been so long,she thought, sadness creeping over her heart.And we caused each other so much pain. I don’t care anymore. At the very least, I want him to know why I did what I did – and I want to know why he did what he did, too.
