Hehadto find his griffin!
Come on, please,he begged it, searching frantically within himself.I’m sorry I was angry before – I’m sorry I was treating you as if you weren’t an equal, as if you were something I wanted to keep hidden. I’m trying to reveal you now, and not treat you that way anymore. Won’t you come out and show yourself to our mate?
But there was no answer. Kieran recalled earlier in the day, when the griffin, apparently ashamed of its behavior, had retreated inside him, until he could barely sense it anymore. Since then he’d been too busy trying to figure out how to win over Natasha to have thought much about it. But apparently, it had decided toreallymake itself scarce now.
After weeks of coming out at the worst possible times, now you’ve just decided to disappear altogether?!
Kieran could feel desperation bubbling up inside him – desperation, and hopelessness. If he couldn’t get his griffin to appear, then he knew he would have blown it with Natasha forever. He wouldn’t blame her for not wanting to see him again, after he’d told her what appeared to be such a stupid, ridiculous lie.
“Okay, I’m not really sure what’s going on,” Natasha said after a further few moments of nothing happening. “Are you really going to turn into a griffin?”
“It’s… it’s not working right now,” Kieran said,knowinghow ridiculous he sounded even as he said it.
“It’s not working, you say.” Natasha’s voice was as flat as her stare.
“No, it’s not – but I swear, everything I said was completely true,” Kieran said, knowing how desperate he sounded – but hewasdesperate. This had been his one chance to show Natasha what he was – to tell her whatshewas – and he was in the process of blowing it big time, just because his griffin would either appear or refuse to appear whenever it was the worst possible moment for either.
I can’t believe this,he thought, raking his fingers through his hair.This has never happened before – why now? Is my griffinthatmad at me that it’d sabotage its own happiness just to ruin mine too?
“Right. Well. I think I’ve seen enough,” Natasha said tartly. She glanced at the flowers and the box containing the apple pie on the table. “You can take these with you if you like, too.”
“No,” Kieran said miserably. “I brought them for you – please, keep them. At least you’ll get some nice pie and some beautiful flowers out of this. But I promise you, Natasha, I’mnotlying. I would never lie to you. You’re my –”
He stopped himself just short of sayingmate. It would be just one more thing she probably wouldn’t believe him about. And right now, he thought he’d be better off just keeping his mouth shut.
“Please, Natasha. Can I try just one more time?” he asked, but even as he said it, he knew it was hopeless. There wasn’t a single stirring of his griffin within him. It definitely wasn’t going to show itself to her. For whatever reason, it had decided that Kieran was on his own.
Natasha bit her lip, looking at least for a moment like she might be thinking things over, but then she shook her head.
“No, I think it’s best if you just go. Look. You really need to just… own up to things if you make a mistake. If you’d just told me your car broke down or even that you just forgot, I might have been willing to give you a second chance. But coming here and saying… what, that you turn into a magical animal? How exactly did you think that was going to go? Or did you just think I’d believe it when you said it ‘isn’t working’ right now?”
But it’s true!Kieran felt the howl of protest welling up inside him. But he knew at the moment it’d just make things worse. There was nothing else he could do or say right now to make Natasha believe him – and to be honest, if their places had been reversed, Kieran knew he’d be thinking the exact same things as she was.
“I’ll go then,” he said, utterly dejected. “And I promise, I won’t bother you again. I’m sorry to have caused you all this trouble.”
For a moment, a flash of something that could have been remorse flashed across Natasha’s face, but then she looked resolutely away. “Thank you for the pie and the flowers, anyway,” she mumbled. “If you’d just told the truth, I might have been impressed.”
Kieran could only nod. There was no point in arguing further. Everything in him was screaming at him to take Natasha in his arms, to kiss her, toshowher somehow that they were meant for each other – that she was his and he was hers – but he shoved the urge away, knowing it’d only make things worse.
Ignoring the searing pain in his chest, Kieran made his way back around the side of the house, and out onto the street.
The walk back to Great Uncle Henry’s house was nothing more than a vague blur in his mind – the overwhelming ache in his heart made it difficult to concentrate on anything else. It was lucky he knew the way fairly well – he had a good sense of direction – otherwise Kieran wasn’t sure that he wouldn’t have just ended up wandering aimlessly into the forest, not looking where he was going and getting hopelessly lost in the growing darkness of the early evening.
Which would have been an easy problem to solve if I had my griffin,he thought listlessly, as he made his way up the overgrown path that led to the front gate of the house.Is it gone for good then? Or will it come back at the least convenient time?
Despite how annoying it had been lately – to put it mildly – Kieran felt a pang of anxiety at the idea that it might never come back.
He didn’t think that was the case – right now, it was probably just sulking and trying to punish him. But still, the idea that he might, even temporarily, have lost it sent a terrible shiver down his spine. He was ashifter,after all – without his power to shift, what was he?
It’ll come back,he told himself as he made his way up the front steps and unlocked the front door of the house, toeing off his muddy boots when he got inside.It has to. And maybe, when it does…
Maybe then he’d have the chance to show Natasha that hewasn’tlying, and that everything he’d told her about himself was the truth.
And that she’s my mate. My beautiful, glorious mate.
But Natasha was only in town for a month – what if his griffin didn’t come back before that time was up? Why was it that he now had theoppositeproblem to the one he’d come here to try to fix? And how come –
Kieran’s thoughts were suddenly cut off as an incredibly loudthudsounded from above him – the same sound that had echoed through the house just the other night. It reverberated through the entryway, loud and insistent, as if someone were hurling breeze blocks down onto the floor from the attic above.
