Below that, someone had graffitiedTHE CAN-OPENER.Someone else had graffitiedTHIS BRIDGE EATS TRUCKS.
Norris steered the truck straight for the bridge.
There was a brief moment when Carter thought it would be all right. The truck was just below the maximum clearance. They could get under it with a couple inches to spare, though it would be tight enough that he wouldn’t have risked it himself.
The tank, however, was slightly higher than the truck.
The bottom of the bridge caught the canvas tarp and yanked it off. There was an enormous ripping sound like the removal of the world’s biggest Band-aid.
Precious screeched angrily, and Sugar launched out of Fen’s blouse and began gliding around the truck like the world’s slowest, cutest ping-pong ball. She snatched him out of the air, stuffed him back down her blouse, and held him in with an arm over her cleavage.
They emerged at the other end of the bridge with a pile of canvas creating a traffic hazard behind them, driving an aquarium that was now completely visible. And so was Norris.
Carter could see everything in the rear-view and side mirrors. Norris had polished off the last of the trout, so there was absolutely nothing to obstruct the view of the massive prehistoric armored fish with a gaping maw full of teeth driving a truck through a small, picturesque Iowa town.
Cars and trucks swerved in alarm or made unsafe swings around to follow them. People ran after them, cell phones aloft. When they stopped at red lights, children rushed out of houses to gawk, followed by their parents. Sudsy-haired women and gloved hair stylists rushed out of a salon to get a better look.
Norris loved the attention. He flapped his fins, swished his tail, and opened and closed his mouth. Every time he did, people squealed and screamed with terror or delight.
“I bet your eyes are ‘resigned anticipation of total chaos,” said Fen.
“I bet your mind is a giant screen flashing WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK,” said Carter.
A police siren started up with a yelp behind them. Carter didn’t know what color was ‘resigned anticipation of inevitable doom,’ but he was sure his eyes had it beneath the lenses.
“If Norris doesn’t pull over, we’re jumping out,” he said. “I’ll hold you.”
“If Norris doesn’t pull over, I’ll take a sledge hammer to his tank,” said Fen.
To Carter’s immense relief, Norris pulled over.
A pair of cops got out of their police car, stared at Norris for a long time, then stalked up to the truck. Fen and Carter rolled down their windows.
“Er,” said Carter. “What can I do for you, officer?”
The first cop gave him an understandably incredulous stare. “You can tell us what that… thatthingis.”
The second cop gave him a different sort of incredulous stare. “Are you Carter Howe?”
The first cop gave him a second glance, then stared at Fen. “Are you Fenella Kim?”
“Yes!” Fen smiled brightly. She still had one arm holding Sugar inside her blouse, and now casually dropped her other arm to conceal the tiny moving bulge. “Hello. We’re so sorry to cause a disruption—we had a tarp over the tank, but it got caught on a bridge and pulled off. So you two are getting a sneak peek at the very first Little Bit-Howe Enterprises collaborative project, a hyper-realistic marine robot!”
I’m engaged to a genius,Carter thought.
The cops stared at the enormous armored fish. Norris flapped his fins.
“That’s a robot?” asked the first cop.
Carter managed a smile. “Well, it’s certainly not an actual prehistoric fish!”
The cops laughed. Fen laughed. Carter forced a laugh, though inside he was screaming. He had a sudden, irrational conviction that he was about to grow tentacles.
“Is it actually driving the truck?” asked the second cop.
Fen shook her head with a convincing look of astonished horror. “Of course not! We’re just transporting it for testing. We needed a remote area.”
The first cop plastered on a stern look. “You should have stopped at the bridge when the tarp got pulled off.”
