He did his best to stride confidently offstage rather than bolt in suspicion-inducing panic, but he wasn’t sure how well he did with that. The instant he was off the stage, his own people mobbed him, asking him questions he couldn’t hear over the roaring in his ears.
“Sorry, I think I have food poisoning,” he said. “I have to get to a bathroom. And I’ll probably lock myself in it for a while.”
That sent them backing off, looking apologetic and slightly grossed out. With any luck, a reporter or ten overheard, which meant they wouldn’t attach any importance to his ignominious exit. With that shred of reassurance, he bolted for his car. The red Ferrari convertible was thankfully easy to spot, because he had zero recollection of where he had parked it.
When he grabbed for the door handle, a dainty hand with polished copper nails came down over his. “I’ll drive.”
Carter started to shake his head—he was so panicked that he wasn’t even sure whether he meant that she shouldn’t come or she shouldn’t drive—and then realized the likely consequences if he turned into a monster while he was driving. He shoved the keys into her hand, hit the button to roll down the roof, and scrambled into the back seat so he wouldn’t destroy the car or accidentally hurt her with a stray claw or fang if he did transform all the way.
Fen got in, adjusted the seat and mirrors, and glanced at him in the rear-view mirror. “Where are we going?”
“Let’s start with ‘away.’” He half-expected his words to come out in a screech or hiss, and was relieved that he still had a human voice.
“Sounds good.” She started the car, glanced at a freeway entrance, and passed it rather than getting on, explaining, “I’m thinking high speeds are a bad idea.”
Even in the midst of his panic, he was impressed with how calm, collected, and practical she was. He could barely think straight, but she was already planning ahead.
“Um…” Fen began cautiously. “How do you feel?”
“You mean, am I going to grow twelve eyes and a bunch of tentacles at any second?”
“Well… Yeah.”
“Got me. I couldn’t even tell that my eyes were changing color.” He peered over her shoulder into the rear-view mirror. His eyes were still panic-black. But his inner monsters were subsiding, no longer an incomprehensible shrieking mob. As he watched, his irises lightened to anxious eggplant-purple.
Are you taking over?Carter demanded of his inner monsters.
Not on purpose,growled a monster.
I’m not trying to, chattered a monster.
[apologetic apricot]
Desperately, he sent them a question.Can you stop it?
[apologetic apricot]
Carter sighed. “I just checked with the monsters. They’re not doing it on purpose and they don’t know how to stop it. Fucking Eunice!”
In the rear-view mirror, Fen’s eyebrows rose. “Youchecked with the monsters?”
“Oh. Right. I forgot to tell you about that. Remember how I said that a shifter’s inner animal is the most primal part of our self, almost like our soul? It has a personality, too. You can talk to it inside your head. My snow leopard was… me, basically, if I was a snow leopard. I can talk to the monsters, too. Sort of. There’s one that communicates in color, and that’s the one that’s making my eyes change. It says… well, it doesn’tsayanything. But it’s showing me an apologetic light orange.”
Fen, sounding fascinated, said, “How can you tell that light orange is apologetic?”
“I get a sense of an emotion along with it.”
“So what does…” She glanced over her shoulder. “…rose pink mean?”
Praying that she was joking, he looked at his reflection in the rear view mirror. She was not joking. He looked like a white rabbit.
“Worried and embarrassed.” But his eyes had already changed the instant he’d seen his reflection. Now they were a weird orange-pink-purple, like a night sky when there’s a lot of light pollution. “That’s horrified, anxious, and embarrassed.”
“Oh, Carter.” She reached back through the divider between passenger and driver’s seats, feeling around until she caught his hand. She squeezed it tight. “How awful. We have to do something about this. Your teammates have dealt with the wizard-scientists before. Why don’t we go talk to them?”
A week ago he’d have refused vehemently, starting with “They’re not my teammates!” Now, with Fen squeezing his hand, he could not only see the sense in her suggestion, but he actually wanted to talk to them. Not only was she right that they might have some ideas, but they’d be sympathetic. They’d all had problems with their powers and shift forms too. At this point, Carter felt like he could use all the sympathy he could get.
Chapter 19
