He lifted himself up a bit more. Now she could see his chest, his face, and some of his side. Bright orange liquid, the color of a traffic cone, dripped from his head and down his cheek. His side was smeared with a mixture of mud, sky blue liquid, sunflower yellow liquid, and lavender liquid. But no blood. Unless he was an alien. But she’d seen his blood before, and it was a normal color. For a human.
Carter was also staring down at himself. In a tone that combined sudden understanding and absolute fury, he said, “Oh.”
He sat up. So did she. Now she could see that he was splattered with paint in five different colors. One of the men had scored a hit to his heart with pink paint the color of a Barbie Dream House.
“Those were paint guns,” said Fen, unnecessarily.
She glared at the laughing, cheering, whooping men in the boat. They’d put down their guns and were giving each other high-fives.
“YOU MISERABLE FUCKERS!” she yelled. That didn’t even come close to expressing her feelings, so she tried again. “YOU ABSOLUTE BLOODY WALNUTS!”
The men laughed harder.
Fen leaped up and rushed into the water, planning to tear them limb from limb with her bare hands. Carter was right there beside her.
One of the men hurriedly turned on the outboard motor. The boat began to zoom away in a wake of black water and mocking laughter.
It crashed into a Dunkleosteus.
The great prehistoric fish had reared up out of the water right in front of them. It was a game of small boat vs enormous armored dinosaur, and the boat lost decisively. There was a spectacular rending crash and a whole lot of unmanly screams. The next instant, dented boat pieces were sinking and five kidnappers were flailing in black water, looking terrified. Norris loomed over them, periodically snapping his immense toothy jaws. Every time he did, the mighty hunters screamed and thrashed, trying desperately to get away from him.
It was too much. Fen staggered out of the water and onto the island, and did what she’d been wanting to do all day. With no regard for her dignity, not caring in the slightest who was watching, she flung herself down on the ground and rolled around, howling with laughter. Every now and then she wiped the tears from her eyes to get a better view at Norris ponderously swimming in a circle around the shrieking, flailing manhunters. He was clearly enjoying himself immensely. But probably not as much as she was.
Carter did not throw himself to the ground and roll around. But he did sit down beside her and laugh until tears came to his eyes.
After a while, she subsided into the occasional fit of giggles. She sat up and wiped her eyes. “My sides literally ache.”
“Mine too.” Carter gazed at the frantically swimming men. They were clearly getting tired. Norris flapped his fins at them, sending them into a spasm of redoubled efforts. “I don’t think I’ve laughed like that since I was a little kid.”
“I don’t think I’veeverlaughed like that.”
Fen eyed Bill, remembered how she’d thought Carter was dying beside her, picked up a pawpaw, and hurled it at him. It hit him on the head and splattered. All the men screamed before they realized that his head hadn’t exploded, then spluttered angrily when they figured it out.
“That was very satisfying,” said Fen with a contented sigh.
“You have great aim.” Carter lay back, folding his arms behind his head as if he was on a beach holiday. She imitated him, and they lay and watched Norris menace the mighty paintballers.
Sugar launched himself from the pawpaw tree, landed beside Fen with a tiny thump, and dove into her blouse. He wriggled around, got himself settled into her cleavage, then peered out to watch the show with her.
Fen tickled him behind the ears. “So that’s where you went. I wonder… Hmm.”
She and Carter looked at the pawpaw tree. There was no sign of Precious. Fen whispered, “Think she’s smart enough to know no one but us should see her? No, wait. The wizard-scientists already know about her, right? Or at least, about magical animals in general.”
“I’m not so sure now that these guys are from the wizard-scientists,” Carter whispered back. “I know what Norris said, but I’ve only ever seen the wizard-scientists use shifter minions. And real weapons. I can’t see them messing around with paint guns.”
“Who else could they be?” Fen whispered. “You don’t think they really could be… exactly what they said they were?”
Carter pointedly looked at the thrashing men. One accidentally swam into Norris’s fin and got contemptuously flipped over. He let out a high-pitched shriek. “Don’t they seem more like Most Dangerous Gamers than super-powered henchmen?”
“They do,” she admitted. “Think they’d confess by now?”
“Probably. But let’s give it a little more time. I want to make sure they’re so worn out that if they try to attack us they’ll fall over.”
“Good idea.” She nudged him. “And also, you don’t want to miss a minute of them getting chased in circles by a Dunkleosteus.”
With dignity, Carter said, “Norris was kind enough to warn us, even if he might’ve been wrong about what was going on. I don’t want to deprive him of his fun.”
“Hey!” Fen exclaimed. “Remember we said we were saving the whiskey for a special occasion? What could be more special than toasting the downfall of our enemies while we watch them getting chased around a swamp by a prehistoric fish?”
