“It is real.” He took her hands, grasping them tight. “Ichose you, Honey. Not fate. Not the monster. Me.”
Her fingers stayed slack, not closing on his. “I know. You would never let yourself be forced into anything. I understand why you didn’t tell me, Buck. And that wasn’t the reason.”
Damn it.She’d always speared straight through his walls, all the way to his heart.
“No,” he admitted. “Though it was part of it. Look, I’m not trying to make myself out to be some noble hero here, only trying to protect your feelings. I lied to you, and I’m not proud of that. But I knew that if I told you, you’d think it changed things.”
She tried to pull her hands out of his. “It does change things.”
“Itdoesn’t.” He tightened his grip, not letting go. “Just because you’re my mate doesn’t mean we have to make this relationship into a motherloving three-way with a damn animal. I’ve stopped it from biting you so far, haven’t I? I can keep it under control. It’s not a problem. We can carry on just as we were. Nothing has to change.”
Honey looked at him in silence for a long, long moment.
Then she said, softly, “You sound like my ex.”
Her words hit him like a gunshot to the chest. He released her hands, stepping back.
“That’s not fair,” he said. “It’s not the same thing at all.”
She held his gaze. “Isn’t it?”
“No!” Anger surged through him. He yanked up his sleeve, baring the scar on his bicep. “Are you forgetting this? I wasn’t born with a fucking monster in my head. Damn it, Honey, this isn’t part of me!”
“You keep saying that, but it is.” She shook her head as he opened his mouth to retort. “I’m not having this argument. At least I learned one thing from my marriage. If you’re so determined to lie to yourself, nothing I say will change your mind. But I won’t let you lie to me.”
“I won’t. Not ever again.” He wanted to reach for her, but she’d backed away, almost to the door. “Please, Honey. This damn curse has already taken everything else from me. I can’t lose you too.”
“I love you, Buck.” Honey took a deep breath, raising her chin. “But I spent twenty-six years with a man so deep in denial that he made me part of his self-deception. I won’t do it again.”
Buck pulled his sleeve down again, so hard his camp t-shirt tore at the shoulder.
“This is exactly why I didn’t tell you,” he said, when he could trust it to come out as human words and not a howl of agony. “This fucking fated mate thing may have brought us together, but I knew that if you found out, it would tear us apart.”
“No.” She turned her back on him. “You’re the one doing that.”
She walked out. He didn’t try to stop her. Just stood there, numb, waiting for the pain to start. Waiting for the sharp bite of phantom fangs; the punishment he deserved for hurting her so badly.
It didn’t come. His scar was just a scar, a place where he had no feeling. No angry, savage presence in his mind, trying to drive him to go after Honey. Nothing.
For the first time since he’d been bitten, he had exactly what he’d wanted.
He was alone.
CHAPTER37
“But youcan’tleave,” Estelle said yet again, as though repeating it enough times would make it true. “We don’t want you to go.”
“I don’t want to leave either.” Honey was trying hard to smile, but they could all see through it. “I wish I could stay, but I can’t.”
“But you’ll come back, right?” Claire said anxiously. “We’ll see you again. If not this summer, then next year.”
“No, Claire.” Honey looked round at them all with red-rimmed eyes. “I’m afraid this is goodbye.”
Beth looked on the verge of tears too. “Butwhydo you have to go? Is it something we did?”
“Oh, sweetheart.” Honey pulled her into a hug. “Of course not. It’s nothing to do with any of you. Just me. I’m sorry, I can’t tell you more than that.”
“But—but—” Archie struggled for words, and, finding none, took the usual option of turning into a bear instead.
