My arms fly across the table, dishes shattering as they hit the floor. Empty wine glasses explode against the wall. Pots and pans clatter as I throw them in the sink, slinging food all over the countertops.
A guttural scream rips from my throat, and I curse the man who made me believe in love again.
Fuck, that felt good, but the feeling only lasts a moment before my heartache returns.
Once I’m finished destroying my kitchen, I pour another mug of wine. Heading back to the living room, I plop down on the couch, grabbing my phone from the charger. Swiping at the screen, I gasp.
Gabe:Please forgive me.
I opt for a simple “fuck you”, but I decide silence will gripe his ass more.
Why does he care if I forgive him?
He threw me away last night and I’m surprised I heard from him at all.
Tossing my phone onto the coffee table, I close my eyes, breathing deeply. After a few moments,I open them to find that life still hurts like a motherfucker right now.
Realizing my cup is empty once again, I head back into the kitchen, exchanging the mug for the bottle. Taking up my spot again on the couch, I turn on the television and find a comedy re-run. I’m not paying attention to the show, but it’s a comforting noise in the background to drown out the silence.
It makes me feel like I’m not alone.
Drinking straight from the bottle, I keep sipping until it’s empty and sleep finds me again.
Waking up later, the same show is playing, and I realize it’s late afternoon. Pulling myself up off the couch, I begin cleaning the mess I made in the kitchen this morning.
I’ve never loved anyone the way I love Gabriel. He broke through every wall I built around my heart.
I let him in.
I let him see me.
We fit together perfectly, and he walked away.
A little voice whispers in the back of my mind that things aren’t what they seem.
He loves me. He would never walk away from me. Something happened that caused him to do this.
Ignoring the whispering bitch, I wipe down the counters and start the dishwasher.
If he loved me, he would’ve told me what’sgoing on. He promised he wouldn’t keep me in the dark anymore.
He lied.
Tears threaten to fall, and I refuse to shed any more of them. I won’t cry over him again.
Reaching for another bottle of wine, I sit my ass back down on the couch and drink until I pass out again.
Day two without Gabriel fucking sucks.
I woke up with a crick in my neck from sleeping on the couch. Once I was able to get up, I checked my phone.
Nothing.
My heart broke all over again, and I cried like a baby.
Between my excessive drinking and sleeping, I haven’t gotten any work done. All the romance manuscripts will make me think of him. I’ll read the happy endings, and it’ll shatter me because mine was taken away.
Great.
