For a second, I can only blink. For Stellan to say these things to me, so bluntly and without pretense or the disguise of humor… it’s unusual, to say the least.
“Stellan— “
He holds up a hand. “I want you to consider what I am saying, Margot. There is an escape option for you… but that window is growing smaller by the day. Do you understand?”
I flush, sitting up and looking at my hands in my lap. “I do.”
He put my conundrum into words, which is more than I have been willing or able to do. As I sit there, his words swirl against me and wash over me again and again.
Can I be the queen that Stellan needs? Am I dignified enough? Humble enough? Resilient enough?
Simply put, do I have what it takes?
Half a minute of silence lapses before I realize that he’s waiting for an answer. I glance up at his darkly handsome face, biting my lower lip.
“I don’t know,” I confess. “I’m sorry. I wish I did.”
Stellan sits back on the couch, looking upset. “I thought that you wanted this.”
“I love you. That part has never been in doubt. But… you’re asking me to make a major decision that will affect the rest of my life. And it’s just… it’s hard.” Screwing up my face, I sigh. “If you were anyone else, I would just say yesright now. But… your honor, your sense of duty… they are a part of you. And I’m trying to figure out whether I can put honor and duty first like you do.”
He frowns. “You make me sound selfless. I’m anything but that. If I really only cared about duty, I would’ve just picked a wealthy Danish girl to marry and sired an heir by now.”
I wrinkle my nose. In my head, I can just picture Stellan and some willowy blonde standing in a royal portrait, holding a baby. The question is, can I put myself in the place of the blonde?
“I know,” I say with a shrug. “I’m trying my best to figure out whether I can commit to the royal lifestyle. You already know that I’d commit to you in a heartbeat.”
His smile is a little heartbreaking. “I know,skatter. We are just running out of time. A decision has to be made.”
I suck in a breath and nod. “I know.”
Stellan stands up, holding out his hand to me. “Come.”
Getting to my feet, I slip my hand into his, relishing how warm his skin is. “Back to the dinner?”
His mouth curves up. “No. It’s been two days since I’ve even seen you naked. I’m starving for your body,skatter.”
My heart beat drums a staccato rhythm against my ribs. Pressing myself closer to Stellan, I pull his head down, kissing his mouth. He growls and sweeps me off my feet, carrying me to his bedroom.
He strips me naked and tosses me on the bed, then undresses himself. When he comes after me, his touch tender and brutal, I can’t get enough.
He takes me from behind, pulling my hair and caging my body in with his. He fucks me, slowly at first, his thrusts growing more and more rough. He soon has me calling out his name, panting breathlessly, as he drives me closer andcloser to the brink. And I’ve never felt so free as I do in the midst of our sweaty, mind-blowing sex.
Trapped under him, pinned like this, is exactly where I want to be. It’s all the rest that has me questioning whether I can commit to being his.
Later, when we are done, our sweat cooling as we suck in hasty breaths, I cling to Stellan.
“I love you so much,” I whisper against his chest. “I always will.”
He just pulls me closer, still struggling to pull air into his lungs. The way he holds me, like I’m some fragile thing that is too precious to break… it almost makes me cry.
As I drift off to sleep, the last thing on my mind is a question.
Am I really going to let this wonderful man slip away just because I can’t stand being scrutinized by strangers?
I really, really hope not.
Chapter Thirty-Six
