My throat works as I swallow my sudden burst of anger. Anger at the fact that I’m royal, anger at what is expected of me. “Yes.” I reach out to cup her face, my fingers trailing over her jawline. That contact is electric, charging the air, lighting me up inside. “My life is not my own. I can’t live however I want. In many ways, I have less freedom than anyone else.” I suck in another breath, my gaze dipping down to her mouth. “The crown comes before all else. Especially my own wishes.”
She leans in, pressing her lips ever so lightly over mine. I close my eyes, struggling not to give in. I want to kiss her back so badly that my hands are shaking.
But I know where that leads. That’s the exact way that we ended up in this mess, isn’t it?
Margot’s hand comes up to sink into my hair. She kisses me again, her lips soft and warm. She shifts her body to touch mine; her breasts brush up against my chest, her free hand grazes my knee.
When she kisses me a third time, the touch of her lips and against mine so light and gentle that it’s almost painful not to respond. I finally give in.
I kiss her back, my hand slipping from her jaw and knotting in her hair. Angling her head just so, I tease her lips with the tip of my tongue. She opens her mouth and I sweep my tongue against hers, moaning at the sweet taste. Cinnamon, mint, and a sultry hint of something deeper.
A sweet, feminine musk. I’ve been dreaming of thatflavor; I know that I can taste more of it if I spread her thighs and feast on her damp pussy.
God, if only.
I pull away from her lips, gasping for breath. Bowing my head, I close my eyes and struggle to pull air into my lungs.
“Fucking hell,” I mutter. “What the fuck is wrong with me?”
Margot doesn’t say anything. She just leans her forehead against mine for a long moment. Then she kisses my cheek, the gesture perfectly chaste.
I open my eyes in time to see her stand up. I meet her deep blue eyes, which are so full of sorrow that it’s almost heartbreaking to see.
“I’m sorry, Stellan,” she says. She looks away and pulls at the hem of her skirt.
I stand up, straightening to my full height. That only makes the air between us crackle with some strange electricity, but I just frown. “I meant it when I said the crown comes before everything else. It comes before me. It comes before you.” I shrug, feeling a sense of helplessness. “And whatever this is? This… desire? It comes before that, too.”
She tosses her hair, her mouth curving into a frown to match my own. “I know.”
I pause, drinking the sight of her in. Then I turn toward my bedroom, seeking solitude. “Goodnight, Margot.”
If she says anything else, I don’t hear it before I’m out of the room.
Chapter Twenty
Margot
When I get up the next morning, the late morning sun pours in through the window. Lying in bed, I think about last night. The memory of the way that Stellan looked at me, so soulful and direct, even as he told me why we shouldn’t kiss… It warms me in my bed, makes my whole body tighten and flash hot.
It’s funny… I think the mere illicitness of the relationship makes Stellan more desirable. I want what has been explicitly forbidden to me… the specter of what a kiss could turn into makes my desire twice as intense.
Groaning into my pillows, I know that it really doesn’t matter what I want. Isn’t that the point Stellan was trying to make?
I get up and go to the kitchen, looking around for him. He’s nowhere to be found. So I just spend a couple of hours getting dressed and feeding myself a toasted bagel. I start a jigsaw puzzle on the floor of the living room.
That’s where Stellan finds me when he comes in from his run. I look up at him as he enters the room and my eyeswiden. He’s wearing a t-shirt and running shorts, and his whole body is damp with sweat. He pulls out his earbuds, still out of breath.
“Haj,” he says.
“Hey.” I put my arms behind me and size him up. “Are we in a fight?”
He looks a little surprised. “I don’t think so.” He pauses, taking a deep breath and exhaling loudly. “Do you want to go for a walk? There’s a waterfall that’s only about two miles from here. I’d like to go see it, spend a little more time communing with nature before I have to return to civilization tomorrow.”
My lips lift in the ghost of a smile. “Sure.”
“Great. Let me get changed. We’ll leave in five minutes,ja?”
I nod, putting the pieces of the puzzle back in the box. I toss my black leather jacket on over my dark jeans and black tank top. By the time I get my Converse on my feet, Stellan is rearing to go.
