Instead, I’m here in Galena, Illinois, in a book filled home office with Bode, my bestie’s brother, trying to figure out why he’s looking at me like that.
“What’s—” I get no more words out before my back is flat against the closed door behind me and Bode himself is pressed up against me from chest to pelvis. His feet bracket mine, while one hand grabs hold of the side of my neck and the other slides down to my left knee, then lifts my leg to wrap around his right hip. It’s a good thing I got a sharp, deep breath in when I tried to talk, because the next thing I know, Bode’s lips are on mine and I can’t think, much less worry about breathing.
Holy fuck nuggets, the man can kiss!
His full lips are soft and a little plump as he tries to consume me. I have no choice, or want, but to surrender to whatever he has to give. I’m dizzy and floating all at the same time.
I grab hold of him however I can, one arm over his shoulder and the other around his waist. I’m holding onto the cotton of his t-shirt as tight as I can, in fear that I will either turn into goo and slide out of his grasp into a pile on the floor, or he will think this is a mistake and let me go. Neither sound like a good idea right now.
Kissing him is a good idea, right?
Crap.
Bode starts to nibble on my lower lip, finally letting me up for air, and I know this is when I have to push him away. I’ve only been single for a week. That isn’t enough time in between to be in this position, I think. Shit, I don’t know. I’ve only had three boyfriends in my life, and other than Christopher, none of the other two lasted more than three months, and there was almost a year between break up and the new relationship starting. How can I be almost twenty-seven years old and suck so bad at relationships? Oh, that’s right . . . I’ve had shitty examples my whole life.
I know it’s the right thing to do, so I pull my head back, unlocking our lips, and gently push Bode back a few steps so we are no longer touching.
“Are you okay?” Bode inhales deep, then lets out an even longer breath. He runs his fingers through his hair, smoothing back thewild strands. “I’m sorry for coming on so strong like that. I didn’t mean to pounce on you.”
“No, it’s okay,” I reply as I shake my head. I pull a ponytail holder from my pocket and tie my hair up to get it out of my face. “I’m not going to lie and say I don’t find you attractive, but we literally just met. I’m living in your house, and going to be watching your kid, and just got dumped a week ago, so we shouldn’t be doing this. Not now, especially when we should be outside because you have guests here for the party.”
“Wai-wai-wait a minute,” Bode stops my rambling, his hands up, palms out. “What do you mean you just got dumped a week ago? Are you married? Getting a divorce? What the fuck?”
“Oh, hell no.” I take one step forward but stop myself from the temptation of being any closer to him. “Not married. I’ve never been married, just in a relationship for the last four years. I walked in on him fucking a co-worker, a friend actually, and then he blamed me for it.”
If his eyes could pop out of his head, they probably would. “Are you serious?”
“As serious as a heart attack.”
“Well he sounds like a fucking loser.”
“He is.”
“So what does he have to do with me kissing you? He’s in the past, you’re here now and didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Isn’t this moving a little fast? I can’t kiss you. You’re my best friend’s brother. That’s crazy.”
“This isn’t some silly high schooler movie, Alyssa.” This time Bode steps back closer and takes my hand. “We are two consenting adults who can do whatever we want.”
“But what about Hazel?”
“What about her?”
I throw up my free hand in frustration. He’s acting like us kissing is no big deal, when it’s a very big deal. “This is crazy. We just met. Your sister just dumped it on us that I’m going to be your kid’s nanny. That means you’re my boss. I can’t be in another relationship with my boss. While Christopher wasn’t my boss per se, his grandpa was, but still. It didn’t work out so well for me the last time.”
“Look,” he stops my rambling again, “there is a lot going on here and not enough time to dig through it all right now. The reason I pulled you in here was to get away from Beth’s meddling to see what you are really feeling about taking care of Hazel, not to kiss you. Although I don’t regret that at all. But we’ll talk more about that later.”
“I wasn’t lying before, I really would love to help with Hazel while I’m here.”
“Good.” Bode lifts my hand to kiss the inside of my wrist. “Now let’s go enjoy the party and we can talk more after everyone leaves. We can iron out the details, without Beth’s nosey-selfbutting in, and I’ll give you a rundown of how our days go. That work for you?”
I let out the first deep breath I’ve taken since I got to town. “Works for me.”
“But make no mistake,” Bode pushes me back against the door again, his lips a millimeter away from my ear, so close that his cool breath sends a shiver down my spine, “my daughter isn’t the only reason I want you here, Alyssa. Now that I’ve found you, there will be more than just stolen office kisses. Is that okay?”
“Please.”
“Good girl.”
