My feet move, ambling through the forest.
What would’ve happened if I’d killed him tonight? Would I have bribed his two guys to keep quiet? To help me bury him? Would I have had to go back to Green Street?
How many more lies would I have told?
Shortly before my father died, I remember learning that my homelife was a little different than my friends’. It was a realization like a crack of thunder in the sky. My parents didn’t scream like one of my friend’s parents did. I didn’t have to hide birthday money for fear my mom would steal it, or carry my own house key because there was never anyone home. I don’t remember exactly how my father explained it, but one day it dawned on him that he had the exact life he always wanted. He didn’t wait for the future anymore, or thirst for something else. He got everything he wanted.
I want one thing. I want Quinn running with a smile to the whole life in front of her.
And I’d really love to never have to leave again.
After I deal with Hugo and Drew, I’ll unload the firehouse and turn myself in.
Stripping off my filthy shirt, I cross the street and Madoc’s property, slipping into the outdoor shower hidden off the side of the house, in the hedges. Starting the water, I use the shirt to wipe off the blood on my face. The silent house looms next to me, and I’m sure there are a couple staff—a caterer and bartender, at least—getting things ready for Madoc, Jared, and Jax’s family, friends, and racers when they get here. I can’t make myself care, though. Madoc could be home any moment, and I wouldn’t hide. I probably wouldn’t even be able to disguise my anger and distress.
What does Drew want?
I can imagine. His job back.
And then realization hits as the shower cascades down my scalp and back. He may try to force me into coercing Madoc to get his name cleared and his job reinstated. That has to be why Hugo hasn’t hurt me yet, right? Drew interceded and kept him at bay for a reason.
“Lucas, are you okay?” I hear Quinn’s voice in front of me.
The world tilts behind my lids, and I don’t recognize what I’m feeling, but it’s not confusion. Or even fear.
I let my head fall back, warm water covering my head. I’m not a murderer.
I’m in control, and Hugo and Drew aren’t on the same side.
I feel her hands on my face. “What happened to you?”
I guess she’s not mad anymore. Opening my eyes, I let my forehead fall to hers and take her waist in my hands. She stiffens, her hands dropping to her sides, but she doesn’t move away.
“I know I should leave you alone,” I say as the water pours down my face. “I know I should find someone else. You know why I don’t?”
“You’re changing the subject,” she retorts. “What happened to you?”
I clench my jaw, swallowing before I say, “Because I know that when I return for someone’s wedding, or someone’s funeral, in five or ten years, I’ll see you across the room with some guy and feel like he’s touching someone who doesn’t belong to him.”
He’s touching someone who belongs to me. That’s why I can’t let her go.
Even now, I know. I’ll always feel it between us.
Her brows pinch together. “Lucas…”
I run my knuckles down her cheek as my thumb glides down the bridge of her nose. “And I’ll think that even if I have another woman on my arm.”
Quinn is mine.
She shakes her head slowly. “Stop—”
“I don’t want to,” I interject, that particular truth so easy to spill. “I don’t want to stop. Believe me, I wish I did.”
I wish I could do what was best for her, but for all of my faults, the most prominent seems to be greed. I want her again and again and again and…
I cup her ass in both hands and press us together, eating up her mouth in soft, quick nibbles and kisses. She’s so tender, her skin tasting like peaches. Her hands come up to push against my chest, but her mouth still opens for me. She lets me bite and lick and kiss while her eyes close like she’s on a roller coaster and has butterflies in her stomach.
God, she’s beautiful.
