“But not too late, either,” he adds, “otherwise I might marry someone else.”
I shake my head.
But I know everything he says is true even if I won’t admit it to him. Except the part where he snuck me into his arms in a dark corner. It was Madoc’s basement, actually. And it wasn’t a hot afternoon in his car. It was a wintery night in the dead of December.
Where the hell are my brothers? I’d kill for Jax to show up right now. He’s the one people are most afraid of.
“You were in a race to grow up.” He charges me and grabs my arms. “And this is what it was for.”
No!
I shove him away with a scream. “It was for a dream!” Iyell. “For someone who never really existed!”
I was a kid. A stupid kid who wanted an ideal that wasn’t real. And I knew it then. I knew it when I was sixteen, when I was eighteen, and now. The more you dream, the less it’s going to happen.
He steels his spine, lifting his chin. “Congratulations,” he says in a snide tone. “Now you’ve officiallygrown up.”
My mouth falls, and I don’t know if I want to growl or cry. How dare he try to get me into bed and then mock me when I reject him.
What the fuck happened to him?
I don’t realize I’m tearing up until I blink. “Did you really kill someone?” I ask him.
“All of your careful plans shot to shit,” he continues, ignoring me.
I laugh bitterly, letting my eyes fall to the ground. What am I supposed to do? Hugo Navarre is coming after him.
And he just wants to fuck?
Lifting my eyes, I lock on him. “You used to feel like a giant next to me.” The words taste like ash in my mouth. “You knew everything, and you never seemed afraid. Strong and steady, and God, so tall.”
He seemed so tall to me.
“But a child’s brain sees what it wants,” I tell him, “and I actually don’t like you much at all.”
His breathing remains steady as he continues to step toward me.
“All we do is fight,” I point out. “We don’t mesh well.”
Vomit rises up my throat saying the words.
He whispers, “No, we don’t.”
And he takes another step closer.
I draw in a breath, retreating as he advances.
I swallow. “I was wrong to hold you to an ideal you neverwere.”
He nods.
Another step.
What happens now? Are they coming for him?
What happens tomorrow? Will he go home to Dubai?
“You’re different.” I pinch my brow together, feeling the sob rising up from my chest. “Like a ghost, fading in and out.”
