The train tunnel, Hugo had said.
Images had flooded back when he said it, and I suddenly saw myself there all those years ago. Outside my body. Hazy, like everything was that night, because all I’d felt was small. Something small inside of a man’s body, hidden deep in a head that I didn’t recognize anymore.
It was as if I was looking through my own eyes with binoculars from far away.
How the hell did I forget about the tunnel?
I knew that the body was in the forest off the highway.
I even remembered it was before Camp Blackhawk, not after.
But I wasn’t aware of much else that night.
Parking, I walk, rain pummeling my bare shoulders and chest. I stare down at the old leaves covering the dark earth as I drift and drag my hand over the smooth stone.
Leave, Drew had said.Or I’ll have twenty people back me up when I tell the cops what you did. And Madoc Caruthers will ruin his reputation, buried in a legal battle for you for the next five years.
Gazing down at the soft mound of earth, I ball my fists to stop them from shaking. “I’m sorry.”
My chin trembles and tears fill my eyes.
“I did the right thing,” I whisper, rain spilling off my lips. “I couldn’t do anything fucking good back then, but I could protect them.”
Who knows what Drew would’ve done to target the Trents and Caruthers? He had a fucking gang.
But in my heart, Iwantedto run. It was easier than having to face anyone who loved me. My mom and what she’dalready been through, losing my father, and Madoc and Fallon and their world of everything so beautiful and perfect.
I was sick. I hated myself.
However, there’s nothing noble in letting a soul rot in a grave no one will ever visit.
Quinn deserves better than me.
I gave up everything, so I wouldn’t have to do the hardest thing.What a piece of shit…
I leave the grave and climb back into my car, racing through Shelburne Falls and back to Quinn’s parents’ house.
Closing the garage, I shut off the light and step into the house, locking the door behind me. I kick off my muddy shoes and throw them in the mudroom sink. I should grab a towel to dry off my chest and back, but my ire is still up, and it’s cooling me down.
Climbing the back stairs, I head to the guest room, close the door, and sit on the edge of the bed.
“What the fuck am I gonna do?” I mouth to myself.
What if Isobel doesn’t come up with anything in her research? I have her scouring for any info on the Trents and Caruthers, so I can be ahead of it if Hugo has an ace up his sleeve. Not that I think Jared, Jax, or Madoc have anything to hide, but it’s best to be sure.
But what if she can’t come up with something I can use as leverage on Reeves or Navarre? What’s my next step?
The man deserves a proper burial, certainly. And I won’t leave until he has it. But I need to stop Green Street first. If I don’t, and I’m arrested, I won’t be able to protect my family. Or Quinn.
I stayed because the rumor of the land being developed forces me to face this. I stayed because Green Street has grown, and they’re a danger. I stayed because I love the Falls and I’m nothing without the people here in my life.
But really, it was Quinn. I stayed because I can’t walk away from her.
She hurts me when she’s angry, and she hurts me when she’s soft.
I have tunnel-vision with her.
Fucking tunnels.Long, and dark, and the only way out is through.
