“And you changed my life for the better,” Daphne continued.
Benji’s jaw snapped shut. That… wasn’t where he was expecting her to take this. When she got on this train, she usually spouted flowery shit until he gave up. But this wasn’t her usual cheery optimism. She wasn’t smiling one bit as she continued:
“You taught me that I can’t go through life letting people walk all over me. And now, god fucking willing, I’m going to help you believe that sometimes you catch a break! Sometimes you meet someone, and they’re everything you couldn’t admit you’ve been looking for! And yeah, apparently sometimes they’re a billionaire CEO?—”
“CFO,” Benji mumbled automatically. Then he remembered the promotion and corrected himself. “Wait, yeah, CEO.”
Daphne steamrolled over him, yelling, “—who’s crazy about you and really good in bed! If you didn’t actuallywantto marry him, that’s one thing. But if you’re telling me the only thing holding you back is your childhood trauma telling you that everything goes to shit when you’re in it, it’s time to move! The! Fuck! On!”
She grabbed his face, staring deep and furious into his eyes. “Stop trying to ruin your life,” she hissed. “If it goes to shit, it goes to shit. It happens. But let yourself be happy for once!”
It sounded a lot like the instincts struggling to get through to him when Noah proposed back in their room. Benji wanted to protest all the old truths: it wasn’t a superstition, it wasn’t self-esteem, it was afactthat things went to shit around Benji. That he was shit and everyone would one day see it and leave him, as they should.
Then he listened closer and heard, for the millionth time, who those instincts sounded like. And a strange realization crept over him, icy and still.
Everything out of his dad’s mouth was bullshit. Why the fuck had he been listening to it for this long?
Benji wet his lips. He still couldn’t shake himself free, not completely. But Daphne’s last words kept ringing through his head:If it goes to shit, it goes to shit. It happens. But let yourself be happy for once!
He couldn’t force himself to believe he could have good things. But he could try it. Noah had proved him wrong so far. Maybe he could keep that up.
“Okay,” Benji whispered.
Daphne let go of his face. “Okay?”
Benji nodded, dazed.
“Oh,” Daphne said. “Wow. To which bit?”
Benji touched his bare throat. “I’m—I’m gonna let myself be happy.”
Daphne’s eyes went wide. She stepped back, a huge smile growing on her face. “Like…?”
“I gotta go,” Benji blurted. He turned to run out the door. Then he paused, dropping a kiss on her forehead.
Daphne giggled. “Go get him, I guess!”
Benji shot her a nervous grin and ran out into the hall. His heart was racing, but for the first time since Noah proposed, there was no dread accompanying it—the dread of inevitable collapse.
Maybe they would fall apart. Maybe not. But Benji was going to give them a chance.
He was going to let Noah give him what they both wanted.
Finally.
He made it halfway down the hall before a thick hand shot out and dragged him to a stop.
Benji turned, his hands coming up automatically. He had never been formally trained to fight, but he’d been in enough informal fights to know to guard his face.
Then he saw who had grabbed him, and his healed cheek tingled in anticipation.
“Michael,” he said. “What the fuck are you doing in Bali?”
Michael hiccupped. He was wearing a rumpled suit with a dark stain down the front. A reluctant sniff revealed this not to be alcohol, but mouthwash. It was so minty it made Benji’s eyes burn.
“Here,” said Michael, only slurring slightly as he shoved a suitcase into Benji’s hands. Then he frowned, plucking at the shirt hanging off Benji’s thin frame. “Is that his shirt?”
Benji pushed him away. Then, for good measure, he dropped the suitcase at Michael’s feet.
