“It’s fine,” Noah said. “We’d love to have him come down. I’ll talk to the heads of the department over there, see if we can set up a time.”
Benji thought about protesting. But Max was so happy, and Noah didn’t look annoyed. He was watching Max fondly as Max separated the coins into separate colors again. Then Noah turned to look at Benji, and his expression grew so soft that Benji’s cheeks went supernova.
“Are you hungry, ba—” Noah cut himself off, schooling his expression into something resembling calm. “Are you hungry? I brought you wonton soup.”
Benji swallowed over a swollen throat. He shook his head.
“Well, it’s there when you’re ready.” Noah reached out, squeezing Benji’s arm in a way that could be construed as friendly. But his gaze was still intense, fixed on Benji like he was the only person in the universe.
For a moment, all Benji wanted was for Noah to climb under the covers with him and hold him. Then Max piped up again, declaring a rematch. Noah’s hand slid away, and Benji slipped back into sleep, feeling like he’d just left a happy dream.
One week. One wholeweekof shivering in bed, hacking his lungs out. Falling asleep during movies because he couldn’t stay conscious for more than forty minutes at a time. Of Noah feeding him honey and keeping a respectful distance away when Max was in the room.
“Aboutfuckingtime,” Benji declared the first day he woke up blessedly sweat-free, no achy joints or rumbling chest. He sprang out of bed, taking a deep lungful of unimpeded air.
“You can say that again,” Max said behind him.
Benji turned. Max was in his PJs in the armchair, his laptop balanced on his lap.
Max pulled his headphones off. “Does this mean you can drop me off at JJ’s place tonight? It’s gonna rain, I don’t want to bus.”
“You got it.” Benji was so eager to get the hell out of this motel room that he’d drive Max anywhere he wanted. He headed for the bathroom, a spring in his step. He could go back to class on Monday and get to work on all the shit he’d promised his teachers he’d make up for. He could see Noah, who had taken care of him so diligently, and show him how grateful he was.
He paused, watching Max fit his headphones back on and get back to typing. The armchair he was sitting in was huge, and Max’s feet barely scraped the carpet. He looked incredibly small.
Benji chewed his lip. Noah had said he should bring it up. Daphne probably would too, if he told her about this kind of stuff. She tried to ask about it after Aunt Nat passed, but she stopped after Benji snapped at her enough.
“That picture book,” Benji said casually. “Didn’t know you still had it.”
Max’s typing paused.
Benji asked, “Do you think it’s weird we never talk about her?”
Max shrugged stiffly, his baggy PJs hanging off his shoulders. “Some of my friends say yes. But there’s this guy in my class who says it’s better that way. Hurts less or whatever.”
That was what Benji always told himself. It was better that they avoided it. Moved on with their lives.Got on with things, as Aunt Nat always said.
“Do you…wantto?”
Max tilted his head warily, his curls falling to one side. He was looking at Benji like he couldn’t tell if he was telling a joke.
“Sometimes,” he said finally. Then he went back to typing.
Benji shifted awkwardly in the bathroom doorway. He felt like he should say something more, but he couldn’t think what.
His phone was full of messages when he got back from the shower. Noah had sent him links to clothing he might like. Daphne had sent him photos of her latest artwork. And there was an email asking if he wanted to view another apartment next week.
Benji clicked into it. “Max. Want to go see an apartment Tuesday night?”
“Does it have space for a robot room?”
“Max. Itoldyou that's not happening.”
“Then it’s not as good as Noah’s place,” Max said, not looking up from the laptop.
Benji bit his tongue. He didn’t want to explain,again, why they weren’t moving in with Noah. It was impossible to argue with a kid who kept insisting it would beawesome.What was Benjithinking? It didn’t help that Noah had offhandedly mentioned that he theoretically had space for a workshop if Max wanted it.
Benji didn’t dare tell him that they’d be living there for free. Max would start yelling at him, and Benji would almost be inclined to let him.
