Benji’s knees spasmed. He leaned on the closet wall, debating whether he should slide down it. Itwouldbe nice to sit down. But he still had to be ready for whatever the hell happened next. He waited for Noah to assure his brother he wasn’t sad, just tired. Or busy. Or just wasn’t in the mood for Michael’s face right now.
The silence stretched. Too long.Incriminatinglylong, Benji thought as new sweat slid down his spine.
Noah asked quietly, “So what if I am?”
“What the hell are you doing?” Benji whispered uselessly. “You’re meant to make him fuck off, not stand there and argue!”
Michael scoffed again, louder and more dismissive this time. “What for? He was going to screw you over!”
“Funny,” Noah said. “I seem to remember you being sad the last timeyourpartner screwed you over.”
Benji bit his hand. Hereallydidn’t want to hear Michael’s reply, but he was stuck there listening to Michael’s sharp intake of breath.
“Partner,” he said icily. “How seriouswereyou two? My guys said you were only seeing him for a few months!”
Benji’s teeth sank deeper into his palm, making it sting.Say I was nothing! Say he was right, I was scum who was using you for your wallet! Make him LEAVE!
“He was sweet,” Noah said instead, in that same quiet, steady tone that made Benji trust him when they met. “He’d had a hard life. I wanted?—”
He stopped, clearing his throat. But the damage had been done.
Michael laughed, loud and ugly. “Oooh, did you want to takecareof him? Did you wanna sweep him off his feet and ride away on a white horse, away from his shitty little life?”
Benji swallowed. His stomach was twisting up, and not because of Michael.He was sweet. He’d had a hard life.Half of him thrilled in it. The other half—the half that sounded a little like Michael and, weirdly, a lot like his dad—filled with hot shame and snarling defensiveness.
Benji had been dealing with thingsfinebefore Noah came along. He was struggling, but he could handle it. He didn’t need Noah to come in andsavehim. Who the fuck did he think he was?
He was so caught up in his swirling head that he almost missed Noah’s reply.
“Among other things,” Noah said, his tone so low Benji shivered. “See you tomorrow, Mikey.”
Michael started to say something. Noah closed the door on him. After a moment, Michael’s muffled protests died down.
Benji tensed as he heard Noah’s footsteps come back down the hall. He surged out of the closet, legs still shaking. He had a sudden urge to cover himself. He felt shockingly bare, unable to stop himself from hunching into his shoulders as the bedroom door swung open.
Noah walked in with a sigh, rubbing a hand down his face. “He’s gone. Want to watch a movie?”
Benji didn’t reply. He had two warring urges. The first one was to cling to Noah and never let go. The second one was to snap at him and storm out of the apartment, never to be seen again.
Noah paused halfway through pulling off his dirty gym shirt. “Benjamin? What’s wrong? He didn’t suspect anything. You’re safe.”
Benji barely held back a defensive growl. He could feel his hackles rising, acid swelling inside of him. He wasn’t going to cling, he wasn’t going to storm out, but he had to dosomething. He couldn’t sit in this feeling for another minute.
He raised his chin defiantly. “You’re testing my limits. Right? Seeing how much I can take.”
Noah nodded, watching Benji like he was trying to figure him out.
Benji fought back his knee-jerk reaction to hide. He marched forward instead, trying to drop his voice all sultry and low. “I don’t see my limits yet. What else did you have planned?”
“Tonight?” Noah paused. “A movie. Sleep. Maybe a snack. How do you feel about apples and peanut butter?”
He started to turn. Benji grabbed him by his sweatpants, dragging him in with his drawstring.
“You didn’t let me come for aweek,” he said, letting every inch of the desperation he’d felt this week bleed into his voice.There was a second where he even felt it, hot and sharp in the depths of his gut as Noah looked at him through his lashes.
Benji held his breath, waiting. Sure that Noah would figure him out. That Noah would ask what was wrong, ply him with fruit and fucking peanut butter. The cheap kind, because Benji mentioned that he liked it better than the fancy organic shit that Noah had, and the next time he stayed over, Noah brought it to him in bed.
Asshole.
