“But…”
“We have time,” Noah said, dropping his face back against Benji’s shoulder. “Until you can’t take it. Right?”
Benji nodded tightly. For a minute, he was strangely silent.
Then he said, “Noah?”
“Baby?”
“Can you untie my hands?”
Noah sat up, undoing the sleek black knot around Benji’s wrists. As soon as he was free, Benji threw his arms around him and buried his wet face in Noah’s neck.
“Whoa, hey.” Noah kissed his chin, worried about how tightly Benji was clinging. “Feeling okay?”
“It’s good, right?” Benji croaked. “I’m making you feel good?”
He was self-conscious that he came so fast, Noah realized. And that he didn’t make Noah come. Like any guy would be, the first time they were inside someone.
“You’re making me feelsogood,” Noah soothed, rubbing soothing circles into his scalp. “You look so beautiful when you fall apart. I’m always going to remember how you looked when you were inside someone for the first time. All tied up and helpless, not able to do anything but take the pleasure I gave you.”
Benji shivered, his blunt nails digging into Noah’s back.
“What about you?” Noah asked. “Did you like it?”
“I don’t know if we can use the past tense. I’m still inside you.”
Noah pulled back to watch Benji’s face. “Benjamin.”
Benji stared past him at the ceiling. But before Noah could get worried, he broke out in a soft smile.
“I loved it,” he admitted. “I love how you feel around me. I love watching your cock bounce while you ride me, holy shit. I love y?—”
He stammered to a stop. A horrified look passed over his face as he struggled to catch himself.
“Love your cock,” he repeated, then buried his head in Noah’s neck once more.
Noah held back a smile. Benji had a habit ofalmostletting things slip out. Noah would notice it less if Benji didn’t look so mortified after, his face going blank with panic before correcting himself. He was pretty sure he knew what Benji was stopping himself from saying:I love you.And on a few possible occasions:Daddy. He kept meaning to press him on that last one, but he didn’t want to push him after he’d already pushed so far. Benji had insisted he didn’t like it, after all.
As forI love you, he understood why Benji was cagey about saying the L word. Even Noah hesitated to say it after less than three months of dating, no matter how crazy he was about Benji. And if Benji wouldn’t even move in with him, hedefinitelywasn’t ready to say he loved him.
Noah stroked his hair, wondering.DidBenji love him? Or was Noah wrong, and he’d been about to say something else? Maybe he was interpreting it all wrong. He could usually read Benji like a book, seeing past those thorny walls to the sweet boy underneath. But he wasn’t a mind reader, as his past partners had so helpfully reminded him. Sometimes he was going to assume wrong and fuck up.
“So,” Benji said drowsily. “Is the no-fap shit over now? Don’t get me wrong, I liked it. But I don’t know if I can do that all the time. Sometimes a guy just needs to jerk off.”
“It’s not permanent,” Noah said, thinking of the chastity cage he’d been looking at online earlier. “But no, you’re not off the hook yet. No coming until I say you can.”
Benji groaned. “Ugh.Fine. Jackass.”
But he smiled into Noah’s neck. Noah smiled reflexively as he felt it, still combing through Benji’s hair.
They lay there like that for a minute, breathing in unison. Then Noah shifted, and Benji let out a gasp as he sat up on his half-hard cock.
“Can you go again?”
Benji snorted. “I guess we’ll find out.”
Noah rocked gently. Benji’s hands flew to Noah’s hips, his bottom lip vanishing between his teeth.
