“Yes, hence why River drove and not me,” I said, pulling at the locked car door.
“Don’t sass me. You’ve been acting like a brat and embarrassing me all damn day.” He said, tone on the verge of yelling. “First you bring this boy, and then you sit on his lap in front of the doctor. What the hell was that?”
I folded my arms across my chest. “That’s not ‘some boy.’ You know who that is.”
My mom eyed River as she adjusted her dress. “Since when are you two friends again?”
When the car started, I found River already sitting in the driver’s seat. He unlocked the passenger door and waited, but his demeanor sparked an uneasy feeling in my chest. I needed to shut this conversation down so we could leave.
“You may not have realized, but before you went and sabotaged our relationship, he was my best friend,” I sneered.
I yanked on the door handle and got in, but my dad was not having it. His large hand gripped my shoulder, and it took me a few shrugs to get it off. As heat enveloped me, I glared at him, the expression reflecting a horrible understanding of something I had been told.
My jaw clenched. “Maybe Anna was right. I shouldn’t have to deal with this. It’s like you actively try to push your only two kids away from you.”
Before he could yell, I slammed the door shut, and my dad’s mouth fell agape. I felt too much like shit to care, for once. River already had the car in reverse, and I watched my parents stare in awe as we drove away.
The confidence I had before fell into the abyss the moment I had a second to think. I felt a constriction in my chest, my breaths became rapid, and I nervously pulled at my hair, fearing another seizure.
I shouted at my parents, disobeyed them, misbehaved, and walked off while they were speaking. All I had done all my life was be the perfect child they never got with Annabelle, and I just spent the entire evening undoing that.
Part of me felt empowered for taking such a stand. The other part felt like a bratty child who had just gone against the people who only had his best interests.
But it was for River, so it was worth it.
Speaking of him, I noticed his tight grip on the steering wheel. He was quiet—too quiet.
“You’ve been quiet,” I started hesitantly. “Did my parents’ attitudes get to you? Don’t worry about them.”
“It isn’t about them,” River muttered. “They’ve never liked me.”
I leaned over the console, my fingers brushing his arm. “Then what’s up?”
“You know, I had no issue in being with you for your appointment when I thought it was because you wanted me there.” His grip tightened around the steering wheel so much I thought it would burst. “But at some point it started to feel like you only wanting me there to piss off your parents.”
My head jerked backward. “That’s not what that was.”
“Your parents have always made me feel like a problem to you, and you knew they wouldn’t want to see me, but you wanted me there anyway. So, I came.” As soon as he glanced my way, I saw the mix of hurt and irritation in his eyes. “Then we get there and you act childish. Maybe you thought you were proving a point, but all you did was embarrass the both of us. I’m all for you standing up for yourself, but I’d appreciate it if you didn’t use me as a prop in getting back at your parents.”
Silence fell between us, my hands falling in my lap as I thought back to the events of today.
River and I were finally getting to a good place after everything that happened. Not too long ago he expressed to me how terrible my parents treated him throughout school, and how he’d been carrying guilt for something that was never his fault. I threw him right back to the source without a second thought.
River was right, and I was being an ass.
“I did do that,” I admitted quietly. I saw the rise of River’s brow, but I continued. “But it wasn’t out of wanting to use you like a prop, but to show my parents they can’t stop me from being with—I mean, around you.”
The car slowed to a stop at the red light, and his eyes met mine. I put my hand over his and clasped it around.
My eyes got lost in his pretty brown ones. “I’m sorry, Riv. I know I’m not the only one with issues.”
“Don’t dismiss your struggles. Not even for me.” River locked his fingers around mine. “They are real, and to hell with everyone who thinks they aren’t, okay?”
“Okay,” I whispered, mostly to myself. “I really am sorry.”
The quiet hum of the motor was the only noise to be heard for a moment. Fuck. We’d only just gotten to a decent place with each other, and I already fucked up. It was impressive.
He squeezed my hand. “It’s okay.”
