But what if my explanation wasn’t good enough for him? What if he decided he was better off not being around someone as cowardly as me? Someone who was always at fault, especially when it came to Alex.
My lips parted to speak, but no sound came out. Alex waited. He waited so damn long for me to admit that I had never forgotten my best friend and had been lying to him for over a month.
I couldn’t say it.
The sadness behind his eyes made my heart clench, but it still wasn’t enough for me to say it. Alex pushed himself up, his jaw clenched not in anger, but in a mix of hurt and disappointment. He tugged the hoodie over his head and tossed it onto my bed, his eyes looking everywhere but at me.
“I’ll let myself out.”
Alex left before I could chase after him, but it wasn’t like I tried to.
Chapter Twelve
ALEX
Ilay in bed, covers pulled over me, creating a dark, cozy haven. My eyes squinted at the brightness of each one of the dozens of messages River had frantically sent me that night.
River
I’m so so so so sorry
I promise it wasn’t weird. I lied when I said that. I was just caught off guard. I lie sometimes, okay?
Bunny please answer
Groaning, I shut my eyes again. I needed the embarrassment and sense of rejection of what had happened just hours before, but even at thirteen, I could never get the embarrassing memories to stop repeating in my head.
“And did you see the Canopic jars?” I poked Rivers’ arm three times before he looked my way. “It looked so cool. I mean—there were literal organs in there.”
River, lying on his stomach, popped another candy into his mouth. “For real?”
“Yeah, didn’t you listen?”
We had a field trip that day to the local history museum, and it was fascinating. The artifacts and tales provided more information in two hours than I typically got in a week of classes.
He shrugged. “Not really. I was bored.”
Frowning, I climbed onto his bed and lay on my stomach beside him. “They were used during mummification to protect a person’s organs for the afterlife in Egypt.”
River’s head tilted, listening to my words but not hearing them. Leaning into me, he nuzzled his face into my shoulder. I couldn’t help but giggle.
“The organs turned into mummies?” he asked, chuckling.
“Yeah, Riv. That’s what mummification means,” I deadpanned.
“Well, if that’s the case, then your arm should turn into a mummy. Because it’s wrapped in a cast, like mummies are.” He wrapped his arm around my back and gently pulled me closer. “Mummification.”
Snorting, I rolled my eyes. I didn’t think the cast I got on my arm two weeks ago, after trying to show off by hanging from the basketball net’s rim and subsequently falling, would turn into a mummy. Still, a grin spread across my face.
The air was thick with the aroma of masculinity. River had gotten his first cologne as a 13th birthday gift from his parents a week before, and he wore it every single day. It had become my favorite smell.
It wasn’t normal to cuddle with your best friend—at least, that’s what my dad had said. He never liked River, especially after he caught us with my head in his lap and his fingers in my hair years back. It was just how River and my relationship was, but my dad argued that there was an ulterior motive. That River had to like me.
Had to like, like me.
I didn’t believe him, and neither did Mom, because I was still allowed to see him. Maybe it was because she knew I had no other friends.
However, the idea kept running through my mind, and I questioned whether he might actually have feelings for me. Honestly, I hoped he did. Why? Well, at the time, I pretended not to know why. But I did.
