“You tell me.” I shrugged.
Our glares held each other so hard I was afraid to let go, and for a moment, I forgot we were in public. I wasn’t even sure what I was so worked up about—he had every right to be angry, and I knew that. I was antagonizing him just for the hell of it, like close friends and siblings do to one another. Maybe because even though it was through irritation, it was a way for us to talk again.
Alex diverted his eyes to the ground and stuffed his free hand into his pocket. “Not sure why I’d want to be in your group when I don’t even know you.”
His lips curled into a condescending smile, and all I wanted to do was kiss it right off his plump lips.
“Right, River?” his tone was unnaturally sweet.
My tongue glided along my teeth, the word struggling to come out of my mouth. “Right.”
It’s so hot.
The large, roaring orange and yellow flames surrounded me, leaving nowhere for me to escape. I couldn’t see past the blinding colors screaming in my face. It was unbearably hot, my clothes were drenched in sweat, and I felt like I was about to faint.
I screamed at the top of my lungs, but no sound came out. No one would have been able to hear me anyway; the sound of the flames scorching my bedroom was too loud. It was like they were yelling—no, taunting me. The fire was laughing as it closed in on me, and there was nothing I could do but sit there and watch.
It was so close to my skin, and I could feel the heat intensifying, but it wasn’t burning me. My skin was intact, and I wasn’t in pain, unless you count how I struggled to breathe. I tried to stand on the bed to see if there was any way out, but my legs felt like lead. Time was moving in slow motion, and I was gasping, choking, sputtering, inhaling—all of the above.
“River!”
The call of my name distracted me from the suffocation. Was the fire speaking to me? At first, it was just laughing, but now it wanted to berate me, too? I couldn’t catch a goddamn break.
But then it called my name again, less distorted this time. It was familiar, but knowing that wasn’t enough to get the words to escape my throat.
I didn’t need to speak to realize who was calling me. I’d recognize Carson’s voice anywhere. His being close to me was comforting, but it also made me panic. I didn’t want Carson to be trapped in this heat; I would not let him get hurt. He was on the opposite side of the flame, so there was only one thing I could do. I had to go through it and get to him.
I took the deepest breath I could take and crawled to the edge of the bed until the fire was an inch away from my face. I needed to dive through it. Before I could second-guess myself, I lunged forward.
Expecting a brutal, fiery demise, I screamed. Guess how embarrassing it was when that demise never came, and instead, I was back in my living room.
Carson shook my shoulder lightly; his voice was calmer than it sounded in the dream. “Are you okay?”
As everything started making sense, I facepalmed with a heavy groan. It was just another nightmare. None of it was real.
Carson frowned the way he always did when we went through this. He was used to it. One would think that I would be used to it by now as well. Apparently not.
“Same nightmare?” he asked, making a space to sit next to me.
“Not exactly.” I tugged my sweaty shirt off my head and threw it on the floor. “This time it was surrounding me, and you were on the other side. I had to jump through it.”
“That’s fucking scary.”
I chuckled to myself, but it wasn’t because anything was funny. It was an exhausted, defeated laugh. “Tell me about it.”
He forced a dry chuckle. “Do you want to talk more about it?”
“Not this time. I just want to forget it.”
Carson didn’t push it. “Alright. Are you going to bed now?”
“I’m going to take a cold shower and then do the homework that I told Lola I was going to do because I’m not a dumb jock,” I joked tiredly.
Carson snorted. “She called you a dumb jock? She’s funny.”
“I wouldn’t laugh too hard. She thinks all athletes are dumb, so that includes you.”
He patted my shoulder, amused. “Well, as long as she doesn’t think I’m dumber than you.”
